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Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.

2011-05-05T05:35:00.001-05:00

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Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama 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Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, 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Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's 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Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's your mom, that's a fact.Mama Shaq, Mama Shaq, Shaq's 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Yeah....

2010-08-07T23:53:00.001-05:00

So instead of posting all the stuff I want to, I realize its time to give up the goat, or however you people say it in this country.

It's been fun, but not fun enough...

Catch you on the flip side

I gots a survey!

2010-08-05T11:07:00.001-05:00

Yeah, I've had so much to say I haven't been able to say any of it. A common problem for me, I'm sure you're aware.

This are gonna be busy these next couple months. Lots of projects to get through. But here's one you can help me with!

Cissy and I are making a blog about Chicago and all it has to offer. It will primarily be a crawl/exploration-type blog. It will feature maps, itineraries, statistics, and some delicious foods.

So on the upper right, you will see a fancy survey! Please click what you think would make the best blog name. In the comments, if you have any suggestions, that would be cool, too.

Thanks!

Chicago Cupcake Crawl 4

2010-07-25T17:59:00.002-05:00

Its been a while since we've done a crawl of any kind. I considered several different options for a theme, but I decided to go with the good ol' fashioned cupcake crawl. Thankfully, the weather turned out to be better than expected, and we got some new faces this time.

Let's meet them:

Codename: l'Indienne Blanc Codename: l'Alaska

Catchphrase: *CHOMP!* Catchphrase: "That's so cool!"

Special Ability: To command the power of Spices Special Ability: Homology Algebra

Our first stop was in the jolly community area of Edgewater.

Flourish Bakery and Cafe (1138 W Bryn Mawr)

La photographe took a lemon cupcake. These are her words: "First remark: $2 for a specialty cupcake strikes me as one of the hefter values and the size, though not large, was well within average range. Thick topping seemed excessive at first glance, particularly because I am NOT a fan of buttercream frosting. However, on closer inspection and tasting, was delighted to find it was unsweetened, dense whipped cream - perhaps lightly perfectly scented with lemon. Cake itself was textured just right with a smartly tart bright lemon filling whose acidity was balanced by the thick whipped topping. Sugar peel sliver was the bright sweet point. All elements were exceptionally harmonious." 7/7

l'Indienne Blanc chose the Raspberry Chocolate cupcake. She says this: "I agree with [la photographe] - the price was great. The cupcakes were a little small and dense for my taste - I think I might prefer the $4 moist, huge monstrosities (That's what she said?). The cake was tasty, as was the frosting, but the chocolate-raspberry frosting on my particular cupcake was weirdly hard and thick. Unlike [la photographe], I do love a light and creamy butter cream frosting. The atmosphere here is a little...bland? Very quiet, not bustly or eccentric, despite what seems to be leaning towards eccentricity (get a free cupcake if you answer an obscure 80's pop culture trivia question? OK.)" 5/7

l'Alaska had the carrot cake cupcake. He says such: "This has a great price-value relationship. I found the cupcake manageable, not too big or too heavy. Although the frosting/icing was a bit tall for consumption purposes. I liked that the cake was full of chunks and food and not just flavored. The icing matched it flavor-wise, but was a bit hard for eating purposes. I felt that this didn't really fill the "cupcake" definition, because the chunks made it more muffin-like, but this doesn't really make it bad." 5/7

As for your humble narrator, I chose the chocolate peanut butter cupcake. First of all, you see those peanut and chocolate chip toppings? Those are pointless. One bite and they literally exploded out of the cupcake and flew across the table. Second, notice how much more frosting there seems to be than cupcake. That isn't an optical illusion. Nope, there actually was more frosting than cake. It was so top heavy, it made it hard to handle. Not only that, the frosting was hard. So hard, I had to chew it. The cake was also hard, and had a chocolate center. Really? If I wanted a brick, I would have saved some time and went to Ace Hardware. I choked down this demon cake, needing a lot of water to ease it down. It wasn't horrible tasting; it had the flavors necessary (and the smell definitely was good). and the $2 price was good. It's a fairly traditional cupcake, but it didn't have anything special (anything special that's worthwhile, at least). 3/7

After having our fill, we decided to take a short walk to the neighboring region of Andersonville. This neighborhood is famous for lesbians and Swedish people.

This the population of Andersonville

Swedish Bakery (5348 N Clark)

Only l'Alaska and I had a cupcake. The others were unimpressed. It seems that this bakery did not specialize in cupcakes, or even have many cupcakes, even though I've seen this place in many cupcake lists. I don't have pictures because they're on La Photographe's camera.
l'Alaska chose the yellow cupcake: "Just your average cupcake. Seems like I could get the same thing at a grocery store. I don't really want to write more about this." 3/7
I chose the chocolate cupcake. It was fudge with vanilla icing. Here's my summary of the cupcake: "Fuck. This. Shit." This is a busy bakery that has a air conditioning problem where everything else looks better than the cupcakes. Even the old dude in the back was more appetizing. The cake was decently moist, but much too sweet. The icing was like eating sugar. Sticky, messy sugar. For $1.14, it's a good price, but at what cost? A traditional (too traditional) cupcake, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but in this case, it is. 2/7

From there, we took the 22, said goodbye to l'Indienne Blanc and l'Alaska, and went onward to Uptown, in the neighborhood of Sheridan Park, to a hard-to-find place known as...

The Cupcake Gallery (1319 W Wilson)
On a minor side street, with very little in the way of a storefront, one may miss this cupcakerie. But that doesn't make it bad, does it? Let's go to the facts.

La photographe had a Peach Cobbler Cupcake. I think I deleted this photo accidentally. But it looks just like mine, so don't fret. She says thus: "$2.78 (tax incl.) is on the higher range of cupcake prices for an average sized offering. Cashier was cute in an unkempt sort of way but the backroom looked distressingly similar to a college kitchen with random assortments of objects in plastic tubs. No beverages, not even water seemed to be for sale, which is a big no-no for the consumption of sweets.

Cupcake itself has decent peach aroma but the frosting (an unidentifiable version) had a distrubingly oil consistency to it while being cloyingly sweet. Avoid. Cake portion had a nice texture, but it was a nice texture for a light muffin, not a cake - maybe a carrot cake. Was lightly flavored to the point of being devoid of peach flavor. Also, where was the cobbler aspect? Theme fail.

And the small LG A/C unit was definitely not up to the task of cooling the spacious cafe. Points for furnishing - chairs, cushions, cafe tables - minus points for how noticeably dirty they were. Also, cashier put the cupcake on the bare counter before shifting to a paper towel. WTF. Finally, 4 cupcakes (only 3 of which were available) does NOT a gallery make."2/7

I had the Orange Creamsicle cupcake.

First of all, I'm pretty sure this place is a cover. There's furniture you would find in a Persian restaurant: white leather couch, cafe chairs, striped pillows next to wall, mismatched items. This place is in the middle of nowhere, with a bare storefront and a bland banner on front. The staff is inattentive (you'd think it was closed), if there is any staff to speak of. Plus, there were only 4 types of cupcakes, and three available (besides about 5 of each type).

Here's the thing - this was a better orange creamsicle cupcake than A Taste of Heaven. It actually tasted like an orange creamsicle. The icing was pretty good (I didn't think it was that oily), though it was gooey. the cake was light and moist, but the price was a little much for the size. Still, a good effort. The cupcake gets a 4/7, for being good but not good enough.

And off we went to Southport Grocery
...20 min later...she's still upset over greasy residue

We went to Southport Grocery (3552 N Southport) in fabulous Lakeview.

But it was closed. So we moved on.

On the way, we stopped off at the Starbucks at 3359 N Southport. La photographe had three reasons for the supreme yuppiness of this Starbucks:

No key to the bathroom (don't have to have to ask cashier)
Sanitary papers/toilet covers (I guess the 60% of the population that have to sit down more often notice this)
Illustrated instructions for washing your hands, including:

telling people to wash with soap for 20 seconds, the international standard for proper hand washing technique
telling people to shut water off with the paper towel you used to dry your hand, to prevent further germ spread.

Onwards, we made it to Old Town, for The Twisted Baker, aka...

Twisted Sister Bakery (1543 N Wells)

There are some niceties about this establishment. It featured dogs of many varieties, some in bicycle baskets. It was kinda indie, kinda kitsch, but very cute.

La photographe enjoyed the vintage light covers, doggie biscuits, vintage ceiling pates on wall, dark wood and eclectic furniture, late hours, the layout, and location. But the clientele seem to be a bit rude. Yeah, that makes sense. There even was a fireplace! Also, the bathroom was FANTASTIC. It was classy as classy could get. Speaking of classy, they also used Mint Julep cups to hold the various accouterments involved with coffee (cream, sugar, etc)

As to the cupcake, she got a key lime.

She enjoyed that the icing was applied to order and dutifully placed. $2.75 ($3.05 with tax) was on the pricer end but she felt it was worth it for great ambience and location.

The icing was too sweet but immensely lime-flavored. Cake was substantial but still loose. There was a small amount of custard filling that was pleasingly cold and thick. Was tart but you are overpowered by the avalanche of overly sweet lime icing. Fluffier lime topping and more custard filling would be a better ratio. STill, this was a strong contender. 5/7

I went with chocolate cheesecake.

This was the opposite to the cupcake at Flourish. It was not very well structured at all. The cupcake was gooey and fell apart upon handling. I didn't like how they kept the cupcake in a tupperware in the back. The icing was a viscous blob. It was massive. I don't mean big, I mean it had a lot of mass. The inertia contained in the icing was huge. It acted as a single unit with a mind of its own, eventually expanding across the plate. You know in horror movies where the blob just starts absorbing everything around it, getting ever bigger? Yeah, it was like that. It was also too sweet. Sugar goo, that's what they should call this. The cake itself was good. But it didn't have much in the way of cheesecake. It had a semi-filling of a different type of cake that I can only assume was regular cheesecake (the outside being of course chocolate cheesecake, though it only tasted like chocolate). So the intended flavor was not there, nor was the theme not present, either. It all tasted the same, and it wasn't very exciting. The store itself is cute, though the price is on the higher end. The question stands: Is it worth the price? Maybe. 4/7

And that's it! Tune in next time, as crawls may be a regular occurrence, especially with new treats! I'm pretty sure I've been to at least 75% of the cupcakeries in Chicago, and as I go on, I'm pretty sure I hit the best ones by now. Still, go big or go home, right?

Catch you on the flip side.

Chipotle: Really?

2010-07-22T13:37:00.002-05:00

Usually, when somebody says they don't like something you like, you take it personally. It's fairly natural, and some people are offended less or more so than others. But if you tell someone that you don't like Chipotle (as I have been known to), they stare at you (eg me) like you just killed a puppy. Many people are religious about this place.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't hate Chipotle. I don't dislike it. I just find it unimpressive. It tastes like Baja Fresh, but with a more limited menu and no chips. It's just sort of bland, uninspired food you can get at any fast food place, but with a veil of some sort of superiority. What superiority do they have? I guess they say they are fresher than others. And that they are socially conscious. Here's something I say to that: I don't care. At least about the second thing. Maybe you should stop helping the environment and start making worthwhile food.

Hell, its not even worth eating as a guilty pleasure (like McDonalds). It's so wholesome, it's banal.

Every campus that doesn't have a Chipotle has a Facebook group dedicated to getting one. I knew someone from Yale who just wouldn't shut up about the place. Some people, I chalk it up to ignorance. Others, I am deeply ashamed of.

This is the part where I put a disclaimer. Since I only go when I'm around others that do enjoy Chipotle, I have not had all of their menu. Specifically, I haven't tried the barbacoa, which is odd because it has the highest chance of pleasing me. Also, I have not had one of their bowls. I don't see how they would improve the experience, except waste more materials that they say they are trying to save.Regardless, having one item that I actually like still isn't a winner in my book. Not the way some people consider it.

If you also are ambivalent about this institution, speak up. Let us stand strong and be heard: There are better places to eat!

Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre

2010-07-19T15:58:00.001-05:00

Chuck E. Cheese looked a lot creepier

Founded in 1977 (yes, Chuck E. Cheese is 33 years old), by the same man who founded Atari (it served as a vehicle to promote his video games), Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza TIme Theatre has been an American institution (unless you lived in a Showbiz town), the only family friendly place featuring food, arcade games, rides, and an animatronic show.

Chuck E. Cheese's uses the awesome business model of marketing things to kids, who are the most impulsive and stupid consumers who also don't even have any money. To be honest, the food isn't horrible. I bet during the 80s it was pretty par for the course. Now, its probably a bogie. The prices sure are pretty bad, though.

When I went, I brought with me some coupons. One was for a large one topping pizza, four drinks, and twenty tokens for $20. Between four people, this meant about $5 each. Not too bad. Then, Spicy went crazy and wanted more tokens (he has an addictive personality). We had another coupon of buy 60 tokens (a $15 price), and get 40 tokens free. He didn't want too many, so we bought in on it, for about $0.15 per token.

Thankfully, we had economists with us, who could help figure out the best way to gain tickets. And lo and behold, they did the best. Basically, you want to find the one that has the most tickets for ease and skill invariance. Some games were really easy but gave nothing. Other games were mostly chance but could give a lot or a little. Special K discovered the wheel game that involves spinning a needle on a giant wheel that could land on areas for either 3,8, or 25 tickets. There was a 100 square, but that was rare. I think there were some 1 squares too, flanking the big money squares. But as long as you aim for the 25, you could do fairly well. My favorite was the Deal or No Deal game, something that most children would not be able to play.

Wholesome Family Fun

So who is Chuck E. Cheese's for? The parent who just doesn't care? The child who wants to run around in their own valhalla? The "normal, average" family unit, that they try to advertise?
Actually, when I was there, I noticed a huge amount of children who, in my opinion, just don't get it. Mainly because they're so little. Much younger than the children you see in the ads. Something that is often common, in my experience, is the infantilization of a market. What I mean is, something for kids soon becomes something for younger kids, and then younger, and so on. Is it because the littluns want to emulate the bigguns? Maybe. Or it might be that parents have often placed the label "kids" on all people under the age of 13. Hence, the kids table, the kids room at parties, regardless of the differences in emotional, mental, and psychical development of the individuals. If its an easy way to spend the evening with your children running around in a safe area, why not start as early as possible?

Wait, what? Really?

I guess with the advent of children's media, you can get to a younger age. I mean, little bele has been already been indoctrinated into society.

This is what Chuck E. Cheese's looks like

Can you blame parents for being lazy by taking their kids to Chuck E. Cheese's? That would be mean, considering the children want to go there. Should the parents say yes to every request? Of course they shouldn't. It can be a fun family time, if you put the right energy to it. If you do this as an excuse for bonding time, you will get awful children. Just go to a Chuck E. Cheese and see them. Unfortunately, as you see often, the more awful children present results in fewer "well-adjusted" families to show up, resulting in a greater percentage of awful children. Chuck E. Cheese's is a shell of what it once was. A temple desecrated by an conquering army. Or maybe a refuge in a world dominated by laws and totalitarianism. Maybe this is where the Revolution will be held. I don't know about you, but I'm scared as fuck.

DON'T SEE INCEPTION!!!!!!!

2010-07-17T01:17:00.000-05:00

Now that I've got you're attention....

YOU HAVE TO SEE INCEPTION!!!!!!!

Seriously, why haven't you seen it yet????

It's probably the best movie you'll see in a long time, and while the 2.5 hour length may put you off, the minutes will just fly by (just like a dream).

Actually, there's a lot of parallels between the film and the dream. And that's where you can tell ten years of effort went into this. This movie has been buffed to a mirror shine. Every idea in the movie was carried to the very end, and it never went back on its core. You know how some movies try to have their cake and eat it too? Well, Christopher Nolan has made a cake so amazing, its immortal and everlasting.

In one of my film textbooks, the very first page, said that the magic of movies is that they are a shared dream. And I always loved that idea. I took it to heart. And now, there's a movie about - wait for it - shared dreams!?!?!

That's not to say the idea of real/artificial hasn't been played before. I mean, that's pretty much The Matrix (at least the first movie, the others were just kinda odd). And Eternal Sunshine? Same stuff.

Oh, where are my manners? The movie is about a group of people who are able to enter the dreams of others in order to gain access to their subconscious. This is Psychonauts without the cartoon gags, and more of the action.

I don't want to give too much away, but here's some awesome stuff I took from it:
- relationship between dreams and movies (you are placed in media res, you don't know what you don't see, it can be completely fabricated)

- You start to realize it doesn't matter what the complete story is, you are left with just enough to be happy.

- On that note, there are literally many ways for you to interpret this movie, and all can be correct.

- no sex scenes! None! Romance for sure, but not in a tacked on kind of way. If you know me, I hatehatehate romance stories, especially ones that don't need to be there. Really, Movie X, you just had to show them fucking? Did it add ANYTHING to the story? No. It just puts people in the seats. Inception doesn't need to sink that low
- It's just beautiful and brilliantly creative (set design = fantastico)
- Every piece of the film fits together as a unified being. No contradictions, no loopholes. I think the beaty of that comes from its simplicity. Nolan gives you just enough to understand what's going on, but not too much to mess with the core and get bogged down with specifics (dreamy).

So....why the hell did you waste your time reading this blog post when you could have been watching Inception???

Babies - What The Hell Do You Call Them?

2010-07-13T22:06:00.000-05:00

So if you watch TV, then you must have seen this commercial:

And let me just say - this dude is doing it WRONG.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who realizes his mistake and what one should do, but I want to say how I would go about it.

1. You like a team? What about giving it the team name? Some lend themselves well. You like Chelsea? Done. You like Borussia Dortmund? Then you have more work to do.

2. when in doubt, change it out. So you like Borussia Dortmund. Well how about Bruce Dorian?

3. Alternatively, you can use the nickname of the team. Most teams have nicknames, and they may be helpful. For example, the Uruguay national football team has the nickname La Celeste. Boom, you got it. Real Madrid has been referred to as Los Blancos. So maybe you can turn it to Bianca. Not too shabby.

4. Also, you can find a name whose meaning is the team name/nickname. AC Milan has the nickname "The Red and Blacks" So you can get names whose meanings include such terms. So Scarlet, Ruby, Russell, and the like.

5. You want to have the names of the players? This may be handy, especially if you like players from different teams. The best way to do it (unlike that imaginary dude), is to anagram it, like NSYNC. Just take a letter from each of the players and make a name of it. Or, if you like, you can make a name from a select number of players.

For example, if you like Lionel Messi, Miroslav Klose, Thomas Muller, and Steve Cherundolo, you can make a lot of names. For example:

MI (roslav klose)(steve) CH (erundolo)(lion) EL (messi)(thomas mul) LE (r)
And you get Michelle. Neat, huh?

So go forth and make your children embarassed by the reasons for their names. At least its more creative than Alex, Emily, Anna, Matthew, Apple, Lemonjello, and the like. Sure, maybe it ends up at the same name as some uncreative person, but you'll know that you put more work into it, and since you took the road less traveled, it has made all the difference.

Life's about the journey, not the destination, which is the same reasoning for White Castle. Anybody who doesn't want to go to White Castle doesn't have a sense of adventure and doesn't understand why you go to White Castle. Yeah, you know who you are. But I digress.

Also, life's about making sure your baby is better than everybody else's baby.

World Cup is Over...Now What?

2010-07-12T11:40:00.001-05:00

In case you haven't heard, Spain now has a World Cup title under its belt. They were the favorites to win from the outset, and won they did. It was a hard-fought battle, but they eventually came out on top.

I still have a few posts about soccer and sports, and then I'll probably stop after that for awhile and catch up on all the other late posts.

My Funeral

2010-07-11T01:44:00.003-05:00

So I was talking to Spicy about this, and I wanted to put it somewhere before I die, so that people know what to do. Things will probably change, and this isn't a comprehensive list, but I need to write it down somewhere, so why not here?

First of all, songs that are fun to listen to. None of that somber crap.

California Gurls - Katy Perry
Sheena is a Punk Rocker - The Ramones
Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen
Eleanor - The Turtles
Chelsea Dagger - The Fratellis

Other songs that are ironic or coincidental:

When prayers are being given, it is preceded by "Livin On a Prayer" - Bon Jovi
When they carry me out, it's "Final Countdown" - Europe
Getting Better - The Beatles
Don't Stop Me Now - Queen
Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who
I'm Not Down - The Clash
Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money
Everything is Gonna Be Alright - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes cover
It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp - Three 6 Mafia

Also it won't be me in the casket. I'll be on the ceiling, and I'll come down halfway through and I may record me doing some spooky sounds and say "ooooooooooh, happy halloweeeeeeen!"

My will shall have the following:

10% of my money to Wick House Scav

30%,20%,10% will go to first, second, and third to those who complete my treasure map/scavenger hunt

10% will be decided on a penalty shootout

The remaining 20% will go to my family for organizing all of my funeral, of which they can keep the change, if any, but only upon satisfactory completion of my requests.

Lionel Messi, You've Got a Cutest Little Baby Face

2010-07-05T18:05:00.000-05:00

I really don't have much to say, aside from him being really adorable. I probably shouldn't say such things, since he has a growth hormone deficiency. But look at him! He's famous for being one of the best footballers out there, though he went scoreless at the World Cup. Why? Here's why:

Opposing teams often "mark" the best player by focusing more effort on him, so he can't get a clear shot. When Argentina played worse teams this meant that other players like Higuain, had free reign over the pitch. But when Germany faced Argentina, they still marked him, but through superior tactics were still able to contain the ball. Regardless, Messi assisted in many of the goals Argentina made and is a member of a list of other great footballers who didn't score.

His fame is quite great, as he was the face of many commercials, and even made an appearance in Shakira's new video:

I dig this song, its catchy and isn't as annoying as "Hips Don't Lie." I hate that high pitched crap, gives such a headache

Alternate Title: How I learned to stop hating David Guetta

2010-07-05T16:59:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I posted this song which is pan-patriotic. Felt like I should post something. Anyways, this is the video I really wanted to show:

Why? Because it made me realize that David Guetta is harmless. If you don't know who David Guetta is, and I love you if you don't, he's a DJ turned producer and artist. He is known for making the song "Sexy Bitch," in which he tries to find a way to describe a girl without being disrespectful, and settles on "Sexy Bitch" as the appropriate term.

And for that, I kinda hated him. But then I saw this video. And I realized that he is just a confused middle aged white boy trying to hang out with the big dogs. Watch the video, but only focus on him. He really is out of place and is just silly.

So judge him for what you will, love him or hate him, he's just a lost little child.

Happy 4th of July!

2010-07-04T18:10:00.001-05:00

I called it!

2010-07-02T11:41:00.000-05:00

Netherlands just did what many deem the impossible. Beat Brazil. They one 2-1. After a shaky first half, which ended 1-0, Netherlands came back strong in the second half. They equalized with an own goal, and then came back with the advantage. Following a red card on Brazil (the same guy who made the own goal), Brazil was left scrambling to make the score level, but failed. They way they played, its hard to not think that if they had 11 men, they would have scored another goal.

This is Late But...The Oscars

2010-06-29T14:15:00.000-05:00

So the Oscars were a while back, and I wanted to say something, but I didn't. But now I am.

The first thing you notice when you watched this year's Oscar ceremony is that a bunch of celebrities standing on a podium while Doogie Howser sang for us. Ok, so I've heard about how we elevate the status of movie stars and all that, but I've never seen them take it so literally.

I think science-y people are supposed to hate on the Oscars because it spends more money and more people care about how well somebody can play make-believe for two hours. Well, I can't hate on it. I mean, I can, but I actually can't be mad at people for loving celebrities. I mean, they're pretty, they're recognizable, and they sometimes actually make good speeches.

Who knows what Willard Boyle looks like? or Elinor Ostrom? No? Probably not. (By the way, they aren't nearly as attractive as Anna Kendrick or Brad Pitt). And what did they do? Something important, but we didn't actually see it.

As someone who has some experience in both areas, I would have to say that actors have a harder job. Any idiot can do science, but to be an excellent actor, that deserves a trophy. To be believeable and realistic and yet at the same time prototypical and idealistic, to actually cause a response in every person who watches you, that's something special.

And Now for Something Completely Different

2010-06-28T18:37:00.001-05:00

Katy Perry has a new video!

California Gurls

Not to be confused with

California Girls - The Beach Boys

Katy made it as a response to

Empire State of Mind - Jay-Z

Personally, I prefer California over New York, regardless of the arguments made in such videos. But I also enjoy candy, so I have to vote for Katy's video.

Chica Go!

2010-06-28T16:48:00.000-05:00

To me, it sounds like I'm a queer latino who is trying to get his female friend to do something. And honestly? That's not too far from the truth.

Michelle writes about how she doesn't want to die or get kidnapped and stuff:

http://kachirombo.posterous.com/mtundu-variety

Which got me to thinking (not really), maybe we shouldn't waste time not doing stuff. I mean, eating is always on the table. So is seeing stuff. But since I've been talking about los athleticos, it's time I make a commitment to spend my potentially last year in the city of Chicago going to see all of the sports teams the city has to offer. White Sox, Cubs, Bulls, Bears, Blackhawks, Fire, and maybe some of the niche (Windy City Rollers, maybe the Lions, and even the great Chicago Bliss).

That's pretty much it, some of these I can knock out this summer, so I best be on my way.

Catch you on the flip side.

The World Cup of What The Fuck

2010-06-28T15:51:00.002-05:00

Some of us may remember the 2002 World Cup. It was hosted by Korea and Japan, and it was the first World Cup hosted in Asia. For the record, the 2010 World Cup was the first time it was hosted in Africa. And both have similarities. Namely, once you leave Europe, shit gets weird.

How weird? Well, here's a list of teams that didn't advance to Stage 2: Uruguay, France, Portugal, Argentina, Russia, among others.
Here's who did: Japan, Belgium, Ireland, South Korea, Turkey, USA, Senegal, to name a few.

The US and Senegal made it to the quarterfinals
South Korea took 4th place
Turkey took 3rd place

A similar thing happened in the 1994 US World Cup. Bulgaria took fourth place, Sweden took 3rd, and Romania and Saudi Arabia advanced. Hell, Romania and Bulgaria both beat Argentina!

And in 2010, we have seen Italy and France fail, Switzerland beat Spain, but for the most part its not as crazy.

Is there such a thing as home continent advantage? Probably, though Africa seems to be failing. Home field advantage is a real thing in soccer. Maybe away continent disadvantage is more prevalent. I mean, Europe fails outside of Europe while South America is going strong. In fact, all but one country from the Western Hemisphere advantaged to stage 2. At the moment, the tally is 3 south america, 2 europe, and 1 africa. After tomorrows games, it will either be 4/3/1 or 3/3/1/1 (the last one being Asia). The 1998 and 2006 World Cups featured 6 europeans and 2 south americans in the quarterfinals. In fact this World Cup has the potential to be an all South-American semifinal round. Uruguay can beat Ghana (I want that, as vengeance), Brazil can beat The Netherlands (but I don't want that), Argentina can beat Germany (I really don't want that), and Paraguay may be able to beat Spain or Portugal (they're more likely to beat Portugal, but spain is more likely to win).

Personally, while I love being complacent in my whiteness, I see a diversity in soccer ability to be a good thing. I just hope its not just because of where one plays, as opposed to an increase in quality of the past couple decades. Maybe in a few Cups from now, the final will be a Nigeria-Japan match. I'm not sure if thats good for the business of international soccer as it stands today, but only time will tell.

Hospital Handoffs for Intern Orientation

2010-06-27T22:01:00.001-05:00

Check out this SlideShare Presentation. It's about hospital life and the people who made this video are wonderful people who deserve to beat all of the other contestants.

Hospital Handoffs for Intern Orientation

View more videos from Vineet Arora.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

2010-06-27T14:52:00.000-05:00

Vuvuzelas are a disease. And there doesn't seem to be a cure.

A lot of things are annoying, so why should vuvuzelas get so much criticism?

Because they spread disease (my metaphor was more apt than I first realized). Vuvuzelas are a germ shotgun. Can you imagine the kind of biological warfare than can be had with those things?

And not to mention just regular warfare. They produce noise at 120db, which like being 200ft away from a jet engine. If it were to be played directly in your ear, you can go deaf. Even unprotected exposure being in the World Cup can permanent and semi-permanent ear damage.

They also cause difficult communication on the pitch, and the noise keeps the players up at night.

So they should be banned. Why haven't they? For the most bullshit reason ever. The BBC says:

I could not have put it better myself. Banning the vuvuzela would take away the distinctiveness of a South African World Cup. It is a recognised sound of football in South Africa and is absolutely essential for an authentic South African footballing experience. After all, what would be the point of taking the World Cup to Africa, and then trying to give it a European feel? Let us all embrace the vuvuzela and whatever else a South African World Cup throws at us.

And if you know me, I don't support such retardedry. Maybe we should stop worrying about creating an "authentic South African football experience" and maybe create a "good experience." You know, one where nobody gets hurt? Maybe some people have heard of the woman who ruptured a blood vessel in her throat trying to blow a vuvuzela. Finally, natural selection at work.

But you know what the worst part is? People from all over the world come to the World Cup, and many are buying vuvuzelas and bringing them back home. Suddenly football all over will be subject to the droning noise of these things. And you know what? I hope some of those people who say that they're "authentic South African" will get uspet when everybody else decides to call it part of their football culture as well.

Kevin-Prince Boateng is a Douchebag

2010-06-27T14:29:00.000-05:00

Who is this person with such a strange combination of names? He's the German-born Ghanian footballer who plays for Portsmouth FC. Why is he a douchebag? Well, the picture says it all. I can just stop writing now and my point would have been made.

But there's more. His douchebaggery knows little bounds. I mean, aside from his insistence to be referred to as "Prince" (its not his birth name, but it is on his jersey) and wear crowns and stuff

Back in the FA Cup final, Portsmouth was playing Chelsea, for whom German star Michael Ballack plays. The two get in a scuffle, and Ballack slaps Boateng. So that's not cool, I'm okay with saying that. But how does Boateng respond? Soon after that, when he slide tackles Ballack in such a blatant way that it has to be called intentional. For one, Ballack didn't even have the ball when Boateng tackled him. And then in his way, he criticized Ballack for wasting time and diving. Except he tore Ballack's right ankle ligaments. Serious stuff. Not to mention that at the same time as he was saying that it was unintentional, he still claims that Ballack instigated it for slapping him. He's saying "I didn't mean to" and "He started it" ?

And Ballack, being the German captain and one of the top players for the team, is unable to play in the World Cup. And the funny part? It was already known that Ghana would be in Germany's group for Stage 1 of the World Cup. Boateng decided to play for Ghana a few months earlier potentially because, as he says, of the administration, or because he was too young to play for the German team and Ghana were a little more desperate.

Maybe it's because I'm American, but the British commentators also seem to side with us on this one that his behavior in yesterday's game was deplorable. As he does, he trips people and then yells at them for faking. And yet when he is hurt, he takes his damn sweet time to get up. Actually, this is common for most of the Ghana football team.

Personally, I'm glad Portsmouth was the worst team in the Premier league and are getting relegated to the Football League.

Blog Redesign?

2010-06-23T12:49:00.000-05:00

I'm trying something new. Instead of a grand magnum opus every blog post, I'm trying to make mini posts with only one thought in them and have many in a day. I'll probably have large posts every once in a while (I've been in the planning stages for a new scheme during the hiatus), but this is a way for me to chillax and post random thoughts that don't deserve the full treatment. Maybe I'm lazier? Maybe I'm busier? Maybe I just need a way to store thoughts compactly rather than have them brew for days, weeks, months and then probably forget.

He'd Make a Plan and He'd Follow Through, 'Cuz that's what Brian Boitano Would Do

2010-06-23T12:46:00.000-05:00

Next on the agenda: more stats.

I just want to give a shout-out to the man with a plan: Nate Silver. One of the best products of UChicago in recent years has been this dude who can predict the hell out of shit. He's got the econ, he's got the stat, and he even has the street smarts. And if I already haven't fellated him enough, I urge you to check out his website:

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/

Basically, he says everything I've wanted to say but better, which is why I stopped commenting on football nonstop.

But just so I say it as well: The Dutch can go all the way. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride, The Flying Dutchmen (that's what they call themselves) are the pinnacle of a team that does well but nobody notices. They've been really close almost every World Cup, and even were runners-up in '74 and '78. They continually kick ass in the Euro as well. They have what it takes to win this World Cup. Are they my favorite? No, but I'd rather them get it than those smelly Brazillians.

Groups A and B (and C and D)

2010-06-23T12:40:00.002-05:00

Just an update: Saturday morning we will see Uruguay face off against South Korea. Sunday morning is Mexico and Argentina. Who will win? Uruguay and Argentina most def. The winner of Saturday morning will face off against Saturday afternoon, and same with Sunday. The afternoon games are being decided today, and since I really want to see the games, I am doing everything in my power to not look at the scores. So I'm a little behind on updates. But I will say it is USA-Algeria, England-Slovenia. USA has a shot to advance, and Slovenia most probably will. Later today is Germany-Ghana and Australia-Serbia. Serbs I bet will advance, and I pray Germany does. But we shall see.

UPDATE:
USA is actually at the top of its group. Now, we are #1 seed from group C, which means we will be facing the #2 seed from Group D, which will be Ghana. England is the #2 seed from group C, who will face the #1 Group D seed, which is Germany. The winner of America-Ghana will face the winner of 1A2B (probably Uruguay). And the winner of England-Germany will face the winner of 2A1B (probably Argentina). We have a chance at beating Ghana, and maybe (maybe) Uruguay. But then we face some big dogs.

I have made som errors of late, so here's the skinny:
The best we did was in 1930 at the first World Cup and we got 3rd place.
Hard times for awhile, only qualified twice between 1934 and 1986.
1994 we hosted and actually made it to the Round of Sixteen, to be beated by eventual winners Brazil
2002 in the World Cup of What The Fuck, we made it to the quarterfinals.
We now have a shot at beating our modern-era record this time (forget the caveman-era 1930 record, maybe next time).

And We Shall Do Battle on the Aggrocrag

2010-06-21T15:25:00.000-05:00

So I realize posting soccer updates is tiring, so I will stop that.

I realized I missed something during lunch today. Who knew Sammy's could cause revelations, aside from "wow, I didn't know you could get cholea from onion rings"? Why is soccer more random than baseball (if you like my numbers)? Aside from the open net, there's also the medium of play. I got to thinking why there's no shot clock in soccer and hockey. Because there's no goalie. And it prevents holding of the ball. Basketball isn't played on ground. It's played in a zone of air from just above the ground to about 7 feet above the ground. In a ground-played sport, holding isn't a problem. In basketball, as it was seen in the 50s, stalling was an issue. So that's that.

Groups A and B

2010-06-18T10:52:00.001-05:00

For all of you who haven't been following, here's the skinny so far:

Group A: South Africa tied Mexico 1-1
Uruguay tied France 0-0
Mexico beat France 2-0
Uruguay beat South Africa 3-0

The rankings are Uruguay (4), Mexico(4), France(1), South Africa(1)
The last two matches are Uruguay-Mexico and France-South Africa. It's very close, but its safe to say that whoever wins Uruguay-Mexico will advance, and the other would only not advance because of some amazing points by France. If they tie that game, they both advance.

Group B: Argentina beat Nigeria 1-0
South Korea beat Greece 2-0
Argentina beat South Korea 4-1
Greece beat Nigeria 2-1

The rankings are Argentina (6), South Korea(3), Greece (3), Nigeria(0)
The last two matches are Argentina-Greece and South Korea-Nigeria. Unless Argentina totally fails (not even lose, but completely gets pwned), they'll advance. Nigeria has no chance to advance if Greece wins. They still need to beat South Korea to have a slim shot. Thankfully, Argentina has been cleaning up, leaving everybody else with poor stats.

My money? Group A sees Uruguay and Mexico and Group B sees Argentina and South Korea, which means Round of 16 will be Uruguay-South Korea and Argentina-Mexixo. Of those, Uruguay will win and so will Argentina.

Is There a Future for Soccer in the US?

2010-06-18T10:38:00.002-05:00

As I'm writing this, the US is losing to Slovenia 0-2, so maybe I chose an ironic time to say "yes."

Everyone always wonders if Soccer can become big here. And maybe it won't be as big as what we call "football," but, to Serge's chagrin, it probably can beat out hockey.

Just now, US is 1-2. See, there is hope.

The US soccer history is fairly old, not too much older than soccer is itself. So why do we suck? Because we don't care. Why don't we care? Because we suck. It's the paradox that we all have seen. Why isn't anybody going to the movie? Because nobody is going. Well if they went to the movie, then somebody would go, and maybe then people will go because somebody is going. There really is two results to this dynamic process: nobody goes or everybody/a large percentage does. But here in 'merca we tend to go for the negative side of the equilibrium.

It's sad that the best the US has done at the World Cup was in 1930, when nobody cared yet. In fact, the US doesn't suck within CONCACAF (Confederation of North,Central American and Carribbean Association Football). And it leads the FIFA rankings in women's soccer.

Women's soccer.

The US got a resurgance of interest in soccer in the 70s with the North American Soccer League, though that soon disbanded. Following defeat in the 80s, the US became somewhat good in the 90s. This corresponds nicely with a 20 year gap since the 70s with the introduction of professional soccer, but more importantly, with the introduction of the AYSO. I feel that the AYSO has the chops to train our children in soccer as early as 5 years old. So 20 years after the beginning of the AYSO, we start to win again. And then of course who can forget the term "soccer mom" from Bill Clinton's presidential campaign in 1996. The institutionalization of soccer in the US had become so large that parents of children who play soccer were a major demographic! It's been about 14 years since then, and while World Cup winning somehow eludes us, we have been kicking ass in most other cups. Last year's Confederation Cup saw the US beat Spain 2-0. Yes, Spain. Sure, switzerland did too but a 2-0 win is a lot different than a 1-0 win.

If Slovenia wins today, it will have 6 points, and will move to the next stage. US will have 1 point. If they beat Algeria (which is possible), they would have 4 points. If England doesn't beat Algeria nor Slovenia , then the US will advance. I guess we'll see later today what the outlook is.

EDIT: soon after posting, the US made the equalizing goal. The match ended 2-2. Suddenly, the US is back in the game. As long as it beats Algeria and Slovenia and England don't tie, they'll advance

What I've Learned This Quarter

2010-06-17T16:29:00.000-05:00

Now I can tell you what else I learned!

Linear Models and Experimental Design

Whoever does't take this class or doesn't learn this material isn't a scientist
Mulitple Test Correction is a bitch, but a necessary one. Like Judi Dench
I don't trust anything a computer program does if I can do it by hand

Systems Neuroscience

iClickers are a pain in the ass
Not caring can get you the same grade as caring
If you're going to study the brain, you really need to look at an actual brain.

Introduction to Pilates

Brian Bock is pretty chill

Language, Culture, and Thought

Steven Pinker is a tosser
Grad students...
Most languages are better than English

Introduction to Syntax

Syntax needs to get some OT analysis
The idea that almost everything starts somewhere else and moves to a new location is fuck-all
Most languages are better than English

What I've Learned Last Quarter

2010-06-17T16:15:00.000-05:00

From the vault:

After $17000 for the past 11 weeks, what do I have to show for it?

Short Answer: Not Much

Long Answer: Read On!

Anthropology of Food and Cuisine

Hipsters can annoy me (even more so now)
Foodies can annoy me
In general, white people can annoy me

General Physics -2 (Electricity and Magnetism)

Pretending you live in the steampunk times makes things a little better
There may be some things my dad knows more about than me, though at least I can do the calculus
Sometimes, you can't make it on your own. But don't go to problem sessions, that's a waste.

Introduction to the Practice of Statistics

Some people really like statistics
Some people really really dislike statistics
No longer taking math was one of my worse decisions in college

Cellular Neurobiology

The only thing more depressing than scheduled lab periods is doing labs on your own
I wish all of my professors gave us jokes mid-lecture
You know how to make biology boring? Make it physics. It's actually worse than regular physics.

Creolization

2010-06-17T16:14:00.000-05:00

So I have a bunch of stuff I want to post, and since today at work we found out that we spent a few days running a process that wasn't what we wanted. So now I don't have much to do, but why go home? Why not blog? So here's one of my more likeable responses from Anthropology of food:

Near the end of class I found another (how shocking!) analogy between language and food. That both are part of creolization, which we can simply say is the fusion of cultures. But it is interesting to look at the two in the sense of authenticity. When people of different groups communicate for the first time, a haphazard language can be produced that is known as a pidgin. This happens in colonies as a result of slavery, colonial pressures, and the influence indigenous people. However, a pidgin may become a creole by virtue of its progression in generations. Parents who speak a pidgin will often make errors, and yet their children will pick up the language and speak it as a native language. This formation from synthetic to natural can be seen in food. As we have been discussion, "authentic" refers to how your parents and grandparents made it. And a creole is the language your parents and grandparents put together, as they did with the cuisines of their various backgrounds.

We could extend it further to creolization of people itself. Here we have a stark description. We may look at two people, obviously discrete entities. However, and not to be crude, they may intermingle and combine themselves in ways that one may consider haphazard, unrefined, and maybe even messy. And what is the result of this mixing of backgrounds? A child, who inherently has the background of both parents, an eternal embodiment of the natural generation of a new entity from two distinct ones.

And all of this - food, language, people - happen such that as time goes on, each facet of human life gets fleshed out and more distinct.

Measuring Randomness in Sports

2010-06-17T16:08:00.000-05:00

So now I've gotten to think about it. There's a lot of data out there, a lot of methods, and I'm pretty sure I'm not good enough to work it out. But I think I found what my independant reasearch is gonna be. I mean, aside from my work in the lab and all the stuff I gotta do like GRE. But I want to start out, and any info would be great.

As a really crude index for randomness, I look at the win percentages of the teams. My hypothesis states that if the difference between the best and worst scores is large, then there seems to be a deterministic process involved (ie you can figure out the results of the game just by knowing who's playing). If the difference is small, then there's a lot of noise happening that sorta smooths out the distribution.

So I took some numbers, and did some basic calculations. I won't post them here (which is bad science) because I want to work on them more. Since I already made mention to randomness yesterday, I feel like I owe you some closure.

The amount of randomness in the system (on my numbers) is MLB>NHL>MLS>NBA>NFL
(for the record, NFL is way way out there, it probably involves the smaller number of games)
So what does this mean?
Well, looking at my notes from yesterday, NHL has a tiny puck and is on ice (fairly small field)with 6 people.
MLS involves a decent ball on a big field with 11 people
NBA involves a decent ball in a small field with 5 people but an empty net

It seems the medium of hockey is a large factor, and the idea of goalies as opposed to an empty net is, as I predicted, a factor for randomness (by human error). Soccer is interesting in that its more random than basketball, as my ideas explain, but not so much as hockey. This just means that the factors I listed aren't weighted equally. Once I do a more in-depth analysis I'll be able to determine what factors are important and how important are they.

Baseball is the most random. It has many players, players have a different goals or the same goal without easy communication, you use a bat, the zone of play is also the air, and the ball isn't too big.

Football is the least random. While having many people, they really only have a handful of jobs. On defense, its to tackle people. On offense, you either throw, catch, or block people. It may actually be too many people for any one person to matter (especially on defense). The field, while big, is divided into zones of play of 10 yards. It's turn-based and slow-paced. And the football is a good size.

So I guess it's a little more complex than I first said. The effective components of the game can have different results than the theoretical compoents.

You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?

W'ere Gonna Need a Montage...MONTAGE! Sports Training Montage!

2010-06-16T23:49:00.003-05:00

I guess I'm gonna spend more time talkin about sports this week. I dunno why, probably because its time for sports to do its thang. I mean, this year is pretty big because of the World Cup. SuperBowl was February (with college football playoffs between December and Feb as well), Winter Olympics came this year, March Madness was in, well, March, NBA and NHL playoffs start pretty much right afterwards from April to June, and now its the World Cup. And then there's a break in the summer for Major League Soccer (if you're into that), and MLB, the former with Oct-Nov playoffs, and the latter Sept-Oct. So pretty much if you like all of the above, there's pretty much a playoff going on all the time.

I'm considering adding a fourth P: Probability. I think I've been more interested in sporting events because of the statistics involved. Numbers and percentages flying around, and yet at the end of the day, they may not mean anything. Upsets happen, people can get injured, and each game isn't necessarily independant of the others. Now I'm no statistician, but I do love stochastic models. Stochastic models are models that incorporate predicatble actions with randomness. So sports are a stochastic process. There is some predictability but with an amount of random. And that amount of noise, I believe, varies between sports. Random noise is all around us. It is present in many ways, but certain processes have more randomness than others. So what are the major sources of randomness?

Larger fields provide more degrees of freedom
Team size is interesting - larger teams obviously create more randomness (though at a point the efforts of any individual player are miniscule, and so would their contribution. I don't think there's that worry here)
The medium and mode of playing. Bigger balls means less degrees of freedom (there's less positions it can occupy)
The components of play (thanks to Francis Galton, we know that a combination of Normal random variables is itself a Normal random variable). More complex sports would be more prone to larger variance.
Pacing, which technically is a different P, adds to noise. Faster games means more stuff happens.

NOTE: The psychology of the team (gut, will, drive, passion, conditioning), while not random, may not always be measured deterministically, and can be factored into the noise. For this, I assume both teams want nothing more than to win the game. (In general, any non-measured factor becomes part of the source of error for the model).

So of the major sports, three are similar to each other: Soccer, Basketball, Hockey. All these involve moving a thing to an endzone to make a point. Football is also that way, but its turn-based and I am tired right now so I won't talk about it.

How random are these? Well, let's break it down

Soccer has a large field with a fairly large team (11), the ball is large but you use your body (aside from hands) to move it. There's not much in components - keeper, striker, midfielder, defender. The pace is on average medium but definitely gives some noise to results.

Basketball has a small field with a small team (5), the ball is pretty large and you only move it with your hand and bouncing it on the ground. Talking about components is a bit silly with 5 people, but there are some basic ideas similar to soccer. And the pace is face, but without a human keeper (which is like super random compared to a fixed net), it doesn't provide much in the way of chance.

Hockey is a pretty small field (so it loses points there), the team is small (6), and the puck is tiny. It moves on ice, which is pretty chaotic, and the pace is fast. Shit happens in the sport. Components are pretty much the same as to basketball, but with a goalie.

I ran some basic numbers but I then I lost it (stupid emacs), and since I'm ambitious but lazy, I won't be as rigorous as I'd like to right now. When I have more time today, I may add that back in.

Anyways, I'm not trying to say what sport is best, but what I want to highlight is the way sports differ and why people choose certain sports over others. Maybe you like slow, methodical chess. Or maybe you like watching monkeys kill each other over banana. There's a sport for you.

P.S. Apparently googling "sports model" does not get you various modeling procedures for sports.

That's pre-POSTEROUS!

2010-06-15T15:29:00.000-05:00

In a less than subtle attempt to claim some casual bloggers, blospot has now added a Design feature, making it easier than ever to customize your blog's look. As you can see, I used it, though I'm not happy about it. I think the reason behind this is becuase previously it was hard times on the non-savvy and computer illiterate. And I am happy that now everybody can use blogger, but it took away all my fun with editing HTML and CSS. Yes, its actually still there if I want to, but now I don't have to! I'm lazy. This was a smooth move by google to make itself more like Posterous. I know only one person who uses Posterous, and she considers studying AIDS in Malawi is a fun time. So her opinion on online journals mean less than usual. She can be found here: http://kachirombo.posterous.com/). Posterous is flashier, more user-friendly and more integrated into the whole internet scene than blogger, which is saying something when up against Google. The only thing that loves synergy more than Google is Apple.

And that's the way it goes.

We Like Sports and We Don't Care Who Knows (From Shooting Hoops to the SuperBowl)

2010-06-14T23:45:00.001-05:00

So Serge has been hating on non-hockey and I'm like "wtf, mate?" Seriously, that's no way to talk. So in the spirit of actually posting something (I didn't plan this out, but I want to type something for once), I will make an impromptu attempt at spelling out my impressions of the many sports out there. At least the major ones.

I tried to break it down by distinctions that separate the styles, what I call the three P's: Pace, Penalties, and Points.

Hockey:
Fast paced, subs often lots of fresh players
penalties only for serious offenses. Pushing someone into the walls is not only legit, its encouraged
low-scoring - one goal is big, but can be overcome

Soccer:
Medium-paced (on average) - sometimes calm, sometimes crazy, tired players (only 3 subs allowed for 90 minutes)
Stringent rules on offenses - though FIFA is starting to realize it may want to change how it does this, most medium attacks get a flopper, though that's mostly from the italian/spanish/portuguese crowd
tiny-scoring - one goal makes a large difference

Baseball:
Slow-paced - it's turn based, what is this, an RPG? People take turns batting, though nobody is tired so it isn't stupidly slow
There really isn't a need for penalties, it's turn based, aren't chasing anything, and you tag out.
low to medium scoring - down by 4 isn't that large

Football:
Slow-paced - time stops so often! It's sorta turn based too, and plays are like strategy games.
Super Aggressive - You get to tackle! There's some rules like interference and unnecessary roughness, but at least you can see some rough tumbles.
low scoring, but it pretends to be high scoring - one goal is big, but can be overcome, even if its worth, like 7 points. also the field goal for half points gives some strategy

Basketball:
Fast paced - small court, easy to score, bunch of tall dudes, its a recipe for running a lot, subs often so you get lots of fresh runners
Fouls are fairly common, though they are penalized. Refs don't seem to like it much.
high scoring - the last 2 minutes is what matters. Down by 6 goals (being 12 points)? Nah, we can catch up

And that's kinda the name of the game.

Who's got spirit? We do!

2010-06-05T22:17:00.000-05:00

We're down but not out. We still got some fight left in us. I don't know how long these has been up but they weren't around during my previous post, when I saw the city during the beginning of The Finals.

The vagina building, which apparently can sport text, saying "Go Hawks!"
The building nearby, common for having interesting shapes with its lit windows, reads "Lets Go Hawks!"
Other buildings include lit windows displaying the team logo (impressive!) and the stanley cup
The tops of the Sears Tower and Hancock building bearing the teams colors - red and white

Even though the past two games have been rough, morale is just as high (maybe higher). Spirit is pushing through in the last three games, where whoever wins two of them get the Cup. It's nice to know that even when the going gets tough, the city still has some fight left in her.

Let's contrast to my hometown of Los Angeles. So Kings suck, but the Mighty Ducks aren't too bad. But during the 2006-2007 season, they won the Stanley Cup. I didn't know. Sure, they're from Anaheim, so that's not quite LA, but still - where was the spirit? LA people are busy shoved in their own asses to a) like Hockey (quite a pedestrian sport) and b) to have team pride.

Stanley Cup Finals Game 4: The Reckoning

2010-06-05T15:35:00.000-05:00

Trying to find a place to watch the game was a bit rough, though it was nothing compared to the game itself.

First period: Flyers picked up two goals, then Chicago then got one, but even before Chelsea Dagger was over, the Flyers come back for another. The third goal was a pretty good shot, I have to admit. Neimi didn't even notice the guy right behind him.

Second Period: Finally, Neimi got some fight back in him. A lot of action and some serious misses by Chicago ended the period without a single goal.

Third Period: Some issues but Flyers picked up another goal soon enough. It was at that point we thought the game was over. I mean 1-4? Sad face. So we left. While on the train, I checked the score, and it was 2-4. When I got on the bus downtown, it was 3-4. Holy crap on a stick. It only took like 10 minutes to get two goals. Something was going down. There was 2:30 left and I couldn't look away. I said I'd be happy if it ended up a 1 point difference. that's how they've all been ending. But they went with an open net, and ended up 3-5. Can't say they didn't try, and that comeback was great.

So what happened with Neimi? Here's a clue, coming from the Flyers as the Finals went on away:

"The 26-year-old Finnish rookie stopped 32 of 33 shots in the Hawks' 2-1 victory in Game 2. Laviolette went to great pains to remind Niemi that he's never been here before.
"We've got to put more pressure on their goaltender. He's a rookie goaltender playing in the Stanley Cup Finals," said Laviolette, who coached Carolina to the Cup four years ago. "We have to get on the board here tomorrow night and put a little bit of doubt there. Our team is capable of scoring a lot of goals, put a lot of pressure on him.

"It's a tough position, goaltending," Laviolette added. "He's representing a city that hasn't won a Cup in 50 years. We have to give him a crack of doubt. We can do that tomorrow night."

I dunno, I watch hockey for physical attacks, not so much emotional/mental attacks. But that can't be helped. You could tell he was shook up in the first period, but something set him right during intermission.

I think coming home to the welcoming arms of the city of Chicago will boost morale. It's now a best of 3 tournament, and if we can lock it up at home, it'll be the end of the 49 year drought.

I'm Posting for Once! - Chicago Blackhawks FTW!

2010-06-04T14:03:00.001-05:00

"I'm dismantling my business and I'm buying Portia Francon hot dogs at a Blackhawks game!"

While I never got to say this line, reading it (and yes, trying to memorize it) has resonated a bit with me. Maybe I'm method acting without even knowing it. But I must say, it's very exciting to see the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup Finals. What really was interesting for me was to see the city uniting. Chicago ain't some angry town, it still has some spirit left in it. I'm reminded of Ghostbusters 2, when they needed to find something New Yorkers could rally behind. But instead of an animate Statue of Liberty, we have some dudes skating on ice pushing a piece of rubber into a net. Not a bad trade.

Here's a few examples of Chicago Pride:

The dinosaurs outside the Field are dressed in a giant Blackhawks jersey
The lions outside the Art Institute has Blackhawks helmets on
The michael jordan statue outside of the United Center has a Blackhawks jersey and ice skates on
and of course, various flags and images all around the city

If you're looking for a recap, here's a quick rundown:
Game 1: totally offensive. At the beginning of the 3rd period, it was 5-5. Chicago got the final goal in the third, bringing it to 6-5. Totally strange, unseen since '91 Penguins-Blackhawks Stanley Cup Finals. By the way, the last time the hawks were in the finals was '92. Last time they won the whole this was '61.
Game 2: quite different, very defensive. It was 0-0 at the end of the first, 2-0 at the end of the second, and 2-1 at the end of the game. The hawks made two quick goals within 28 seconds. The flyers were able to get one goal during a power play in the third. The last two minutes the flyers had an open net, but still couldn't get the puck in (thanks to Neimi), and Sharp had a shot on the open net but missed. Sad face, but at least we won.
Game 3: Flyers had an excellent playoff record at home (7-1) but the Hawks had an excellent away record too (7-1). Unfortunately, it wasn't on basic channels, but I read the recap online. Flyers made 2 goals during powerplays, and a third 5on5. Hawks made 3 as well, so it when into overtime, with one more flyers goal.

So now Game 4 is tonight in Philly. If they can win here, it'll be fun times. But we shall see.
Here are some other stats:

According to various models, the Hawks should win in 5 or 6. I lean towards 6 only because I saw an excellent model and I trust that the most. Basically, they should win 75% of their games, so that ends up with 4 wins in 6.
A team that is 2-0 in the playoffs has an 88% chance of winning the whole thing. Unfortunately, earlier this season, that's the deficit the Flyers were in and came back from.
A team that is 2-0 in the finals has a 93% chance to win the whole thing (its only not happened 4 times)

Assassin's Creed 3

2010-02-28T19:57:00.002-06:00

What I posted the last post for was for me to give my own two cents about Assassin's Creed 3.
Some people say AC3 will be more Ezio, though some say that is more like AC2.5

http://www.thebitbag.com/2010/02/10/assassins-creed-3-ezio-again/

There were a lot of speculation about where the series would go next, but this news has killed a lot of the appeal of the series for me.

The reason? Because they're cashing in.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/ubi-we-could-do-35-assassins-creeds

So as they say, "the series was always meant to be a trilogy, making Assassin's Creed III the final installment in the series. However producer Sébastien Puel has said that "we could make 35 of these [games]"

So what's the 411 (I'm old school)? They don't want to stop the money coming in and have become lazy. Instead of actually making a new game that will complete a trilogy, they're making an expansion pack, something that could have been done with DLC. But instead, they want to charge $60 for the same thing, and push back the creativity one more game.

There was speculation about the setting for the next game, it may have been WWII-era (which is only slightly more creative than a remake), though I think a steampunk Assassin's Creed would be awesome.
They added multiplayer to AC3, which I think is the bastion of the lazy. How can you make something new but do the least work necessary? Add multiplayer. Worked for Bioshock 2 (but you already know that)

But we'll see in a couple years what they want to do. I'm not holding my breath.

A look at...Assassin's Creed

2010-02-28T16:47:00.000-06:00

eSo I want to take a moment to speak on Assassin's Creed in its many incarnations, just to see where the franchise is going.

I had two choices when writing this: either list them in order of appearance or in order of in-game chronology. I'm choosing the latter, only because its more interesting to put together the story.

Assassin's Creed: Altaїr's Chronicles (DS and iPhone 2008)

This is the first game in the chronology, and it features our favorite Middle Eastern murderer trying to find some Chalice and fall in love, only to lose them. I don't want to say much on the game, because its just so...bland

Assassin's Creed: Bloodlines (PSP 2009)

The game involves the Dan Brown idea of finding "Pieces of Eden," magical items spread throughout the world. Altaїr/Desmond/the player learns about these as they kill people for one reason or another.

The game itself was pretty okay, mostly because it wasn't Assassin's Creed-y enough. The areas were small, the platforming was lame, and the combat, which was never good, was the main focus. Also, the scripting was poor.

Assassin's Creed (PS3, Xbox 360 2007, PC 2008)

The first game to come out, the one that started it all. Well, sorta, It's pretty much Thief but more...Persian. The idea was amazing, but the execution could have used some work. Repetitive gameplay, with boring missions and one-button combat, made things not as amazing as it could be. Also, you couldn't run without guards chasing after you. More on the Pieces of Eden

Assassin's Creed II (PS3, Xbox 3630 2009, PC 2010)

There is a prequel to this game, sorta. It's actually Assassin's Creed: Lineage, which details the life of the father of the main character in the Assassin's Creed II series. You play Ezio Auditore da Firenze, and your dad is Giovanni Auditore da Firenze. He gets killed and you seek revenge, only to find out how naiive you were to think that a simple family squabble was actually just the tip of the iceberg on an entire conspiracy that ends in the strangest way possible (more on the Pieces of Eden but with ten times more strange). What's to say about AC2? Well, it's pretty much what we hoped AC1 would be. Full of free-running (really, I spent most of my time just running around, they could have sold it as Free-Running Creed and I would have bought it), and they did it right, unlike Mirror's Edge. The obvious plotholes make room for DLC, which is annoying, and sometimes the story gets convoluted. I mean, in a game called ASSASSIN'S CREED, you wouldn't expect the final boss fight to be a slap fight with a fat dude. I'm not even kidding. Plus, once you unlock the gun (yes, a gun), things get even easier.

Assassin's Creed II:Discovery (DS, iPhone 2009)

More on the story, following from the shady concept of history from AC2, we see more horrible execution of a good idea. You find out (gasp!) that the Knights Templar want to sail to the New World. Wow, Spain wants to go to the New World? Sure, its easier to know in retrospect, but even at the time, if you hear about a world full of riches, and the fact that Spain was willing to kill people over rights to the world, it doesn't take a genius to put the two together. But if you've played AC2, you'd know Ezio is a couple shades away from brightness.

Why I'm not in any rush for Bioshock 2

2010-02-18T23:03:00.001-06:00

Now, after my previous post about gushing for Bioshock, you may ask, why not Bioshock 2? Well, I still believe that it is an excellent game, I'm just going to wait awhile before I purchase it. Maybe when the effect of the original wears off on me.

The reason? Because it just isn't as special. You know how Bioshock is just a steampunk version of System Shock 2? Well Bioshock 2 is pretty much the Bioshock, without any modifications.

Well, there are some. You now play as a Big Daddy, something that this trailer shows well...

for comparison, here is one of the original Bioshock's trailers:

So both utilize the idea of Little Sisters to different ends. The first Bioshock involved a foreigner having to choose to rescue or harvest little Frankenstein girls. The second involves the same thing, but from the perspective of Big Daddy, who the Little Sisters trust. I think the second is more powerful, but here's the thing about shock: it only works once. The second game, by being second, removes a lot of the power of the Little Sister system.

In Bioshock, you get a research camera, which let's you take pictures of enemies which will give you bonuses when fighting that enemy again. You get more "research" based on the quality of the picture. When you take a picture of the exact same enemy, they cut your score down to half what the picture would be worth. So I ask you 2k games, why don't you practice what you preach?

Anyways, what I was saying was that Bioshock 2 is a been-there-done-that game. It's great, because the original is great. There is little that's new except for dual-weilding plasmids and guns, and hacking is actually much less annoying. But that awe you feel in the first game? It's gone. It's the same old Rapture (mostly) and you go through the same motions. I have a hope for Bioshock 3, I have read in some places that the creators realize the humdrumness of Rapture (can there be such a thing?) and may actually take the business somewhere else. I'm excited to see this happen. But where can they go next? Well, I think somebody needs to sit down and think long and hard about the story, and see where it leads. There's potential out there.

But, you may ask, this has multiplayer! I'm not a fan of a game standing on multiplayer alone, and this game doesn't seem to have good multiplayer. I mean, Halo and Modern Warfare will stay on top. Actually, this reminds me of Donkey Kong 64 or Banjo-Tooie mulitplayer that I always wanted to play but my friends said it was lame and instead we played Goldeneye. Some games polished their multiplayer and Bioshock hasn't, yet.

Basically, I want to see something unique. That's what was beautiful about Bioshock the first time around. It was unique, imaginative, and creative. I want to see Bioshock take us to new places, be fresh and exciting.

To quote Joe Biden "That's not change, that's more of the same"

At least it's the same awesomeness.

Belated Video Game Review: Bioshock

2010-02-17T16:42:00.001-06:00

So I'm going out of order from my scheduled plan, but in honor of Serge getting Bioshock (he's a big boy now!) I want to post my thoughts on the game.

Bioshock, in a word, is fantastorgasmic.

Let me clarify.

Bioshock is a game that really wasn't supposed to be anything special. On the surface (hehe a pun) it's a standard game that at least had originality (sorta). But if you delve deeper, you find something magnificent. I almost cried at the opening cinematics and intro sequence.

Bioshock is a "spiritual successor" to the System Shock series, by which they mean its pretty much System Shock 2 but easier and less nuanced. But we all can't be perfect, can we?

There are many draws to a game like Bioshock, and I want to briefly list them:

The underwater city of Rapture is breathtaking and unique and it is intriguing because of its

steampunk/deiselpunk technology
Ayn Rand philosophy

The imaginative mood it can create, where you are legitimately afraid of what's going on, and get immersed in the world. Incredibly atmospheric
The "moral choice" system, where you can either do horrible things to little girls, or rescue them
The "RPG-lite" elements such as plasmids, tonics, and weapon mods that make the game interesting and different depending on play style
The storyline, which borrows from "Atlas Shrugged." From what I know, it drops you in the middle of the book, but that's cool with me. Yeah, Ayn Rand is on the list twice

Some downsides? It's really easy, due to the vita-chambers that revive you anytime you die, free of charge, and everything else is the same as you left it. Borderlands does the same thing, but they charge you and combat is harder to make up for it. But Bioshock has a combat system that I can't say is amazing, only because there isn't a need to make it varied and strategic, because strategy goes out the window once you are basically invincible. Unless you're trophy hunting.

If I were to be all personal, I would say that Bioshock makes me fine that I'm not a game designer. I wanted to be on, since 8th grade. I loved interactive media and was always interested in media studies. Even senior year, I still held on to my dream of working in the media industry. Maybe even owning a multimedia corporation if I was feeling lofty. I, of course, abandoned those dreams for many reasons, but at least I know Bioshock was made. Like Serge, I used to keep a list of video game ideas I wanted to make, always adding and modifying. There was one idea that I kept coming back to and was the most flushed out idea I had. And that game was Bioshock. Well, not exactly. It was more of a combination of Bioshock and Psychonauts.

I realize I don't like giving reviews on blogs, for one because nobody cares, and also because a real review is much longer than a blog post should be.

Movie Review: Valentine's Day

2010-02-16T23:43:00.001-06:00

If you're reading this, you may have noticed a few things:

1) I am actually posting. Yes, after some time I actually have some things to say. One of these days I'll actually post on schedule or something, but I realize that I can't do that, only because when I want to say something, I want to say it right away, and if I can't I don't say it at all. It's like Mitch Hedberg said:

"Sometimes, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny"

2) I did some redecorating. It was time for a change, and I feel like this style is a bit more mature and professional. And the css is easier to work with. So enjoy the beauty of muted colors! Expect some more changes to come.

Anyways, what I wanted to write about today is the movie Valentine's Day. Now, if you want to see this movie, don't read the majority of reviews who say it sucks. There's a lot out there. Not unanimous, it's not like Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (wait, if he's a cable guy, how is he a health inspector?) There are certainly worse romantic comedies out there.

Instead, you get a mediocre attempt to make a buck on a romantic comedy in the vein of other omnibus rom-coms (check back soon for a post about that!). This time, the setting is sunny Los Angeles, and the occasion is Valentine's Day! Have I rocked your world?

Anyways, Garry Marshal spared no expense in this movie, with an all-star cast that once again shows that if a director is bff's with actors, they're work for scale. Also proving the economic theory that division of labor keeps any one person's cost down. If you need any reason to watch this movie, watch it for the beautiful people. If you need any reason to not watch this movie, don't watch it for Taylor Swift, who, god bless her little heart, just can't act. But I'm not one to talk. At least I'm actually from the valley. If you need another reason not to watch this movie, it's Patrick Dempsey being a bad guy. Jennifer Garner's wasn't the only heart he broke.

Regardless, you can chalk this one up to "cute." There really isn't any good buildup like Love, Actually, everything just sorta flows without much worry. Everything just sorta happens, and you don't feel like much was gained at the end. So its a bit bland in that regard. But I prefer it to other romantic comedies, where they throw in drama for no reason. One of things I hated about Made of Honor. This movie at least doesn't feel the need to throw in gratuitous drama (that much). I really feel that the only thing going for it was the pretty people and the idea of saying "awww, look at Topher Grace and Anne Hathaway being in love..."

So in the end, Valentine's Day is as vapid and superficial as the city in which its set.

But it's my home, so I have to represent.

First Day of Filming for The Contraband Romance

2010-02-08T19:06:00.003-06:00

So you may have noticed Serge's new post
http://coldcrashpictures.blogspot.com/2010/02/first-day-of-filming-for-contraband.html
By which I mean if you're reading this you probably have read Serge's post, because you're Serge. The set of my viewers is like a subset of his. Maybe I should post more. I dunno.
So I do plan on finishing Depressing Blog Week, and pairing it with Not-as-Depressing Blog Week. And then maybe even "Because Why the Hell Not Blog Week," but we shall see. I'm just doing this as a warm-up for writing my anthro papers.

So yeah, The Contraband Romance, it's some crazy stuff. Serge already said a lot on the subject, I'm going to give my two cents, because I'm actually the only cast member (aside from Serge, sorta) to be there all day.

First off, I feel like "actor" and "lead" are pejorative terms. I find them offensive for some reason. I can handle "principle" because the term is so thick that you can't make any sense of it. You might as well call it "flimmy doodle"

As a flimmy doodle, you need to know your stuff. I mean, in duo the only person who needs you to know your stuff is your partner. In theatre, the other cast members. In film, the more you screw up, the longer the boom guy has to hold the same microphone. Not remembering what I'm supposed to be doing made everything go by slower and less efficient.

Being in actual performances (stage, film, etc) is very different from duo. Namely, the person you are looking at is responding back to you. That was a bit of a mind fuck, to be honest. Actually looking at the person you are interacting with is a novel idea, really. No it's not, but work with me here.

As to the story itself, I realized some things that I didn't notice when reading the script. I'm not going to give some spoilers here, but with a name like "The Contraband Romance" you may expect some romance. But then again, if you knew me, well then you wouldn't expect any romance at all.
Still, what I found crazy is how much the male protagonist makes up the movie. When I read it (and I suppose this comes down to a book/movie thing), you feel like the female protagonist is in the story a lot. I mean, she's the main driving force for the story. But the majority of filming today was sans-her. You get a different sense of the story when you're actually a part of it. Any one person only experiences so much of the story, but you don't get a feel for that until you actually live as that person. It's kinda cool. Just as the people who are not in the scene don't know what's going on with the main storyline, the actors who aren't needed on set don't know what's going on with the filming.

It's Depressing Blog Week!

2010-01-18T14:15:00.000-06:00

I'm taking after Cyanide and Happiness with their Depressing Comic Week:
http://www.explosm.net/comics/728/
There are three of these, but I'm too lazy to find the other two.

So I was on the freeway awhile back, and i saw a billboard. It was a giant picture of a baby and it said "Abortion kills babies." And I got upset. First of all, it doesn't necessarily kill babies, but rather prevents the possibility of a baby from forming. And this is where the logic falls. Because I could make a billboard right next to it that says "You know that guy who's tailgaiting you? Yeah, abortion could have stopped that guy, too." Abortion kills babies, sure why not. But you know what that means? Abortion kills assholes, kills murderers, kills that guy who ran the red light but blamed you for having hit your car. And there's the flip side, abortion kills good people, people who lent you money when you were in need, people who could have made the world a better place. Of course, you don't know what the future holds for that fetus, but you know it'll become a baby. From there, who knows?

Abortion kills fetus, which would be babies, which would be adults. But adults aren't cute and adorable. They're jerks. My beef isn't with abortion, but with the "baby defense." That is, everyone loves babies, and can use them as a reason for anything. Babies are cute and sweet, adults take up space. It seems people can't connect the dots between babies and adults. It's probably for the best, or else we wouldn't reproduce and Darwin would get angry at us and throw down thunderbolts from the heavens. Or something.

How many times do you hear "let's have a baby" but never hear "let's have an adult" or even worse "lets have a teenager." You don't, because those things aren't nice. Children are a pain, and people aren't happy when they have children. But they love babies. Even when parents have a couple of children, they say "let's have another baby." As if they want to put off the reality of the situation a little further.

Each baby becomes another person in the world, for better or for worse, and just because you want a cute thing doesn't mean you should affect the world in unknown ways. I hate teen moms not just because they can't take care of the child and have ruined their life, but because they, in all their selfishness, decided to raise another person in spite of the above, that it will not have an appropriate upbringing. It's like playing reverse Russian Roulette. It's the selfish, stupid attitude that got you into this trouble of getting pregnant, and its the same selfish, stupid attitude that let you keep the "baby." Yeah, I'm talking about you, Karen.

I don't know if there's any teen mom named Karen reading my blog, but I'd like to think that if there was, she'd be freaked out right now.

It's easier to make a baby than it is to raise it, and more fun too. But one lasts a hell of a lot longer than the other. Consider its ramifications. If you don't do abortions, then don't have sex without contraceptives. I don't care if you're pro-abortion or anti-abortion, but don't bring babies into this. You would actually use this as a rhetorical device?

The Kuvia Diaries: Final Thoughts

2010-01-16T23:08:00.000-06:00

There's a bit to Kuvia. I mean, aside from the morning activies, there are a number of activities at reasonable hours. These are mostly excuses to give free food or run naked, but there's something there. But why do we focus on the morning actives? Because they're hard, and they're only hard because we want to sleep. The spirit of Kuvia can be found in the bouncing junk that is the Polar Bear Run, it can be found in the hot chocolate, just as much as it can be found in the morning ritual.

And there really is a spirit to Kuvia. As with all celebrations, there are traditions on the group and individual level. As much as my roommate will hate to admit it, the T-shirt is not the sole purpose of his attendance. I think its telling that the more people do Kuvia, the more people will want to do it. Nobody does Kuvia by themselves, because even at the basic level, you are doing Kuvia with everybody else.

And how do we describe our attendance? We don't simply "go to" Kuvia, we "do" Kuvia. We are a part of it, we are not just individuals in a room. It's on the level of other celebrations. When we want to be at a social function, we go to the party, but if this party is a holiday, then we "do" the event. If you celebrate New Years, you hear people say "Are we doing New Years this year?" more often than "Are we going to New Years?" You can't go to a concept, and that is what Kuvia is. The spirit of Kuvia exists even if there is nobody around. And like you celebrate holidays with people, you do it with Kuvia. That is the beauty of a spirit, is that it is accessed by all and everybody shares in it.

So I'll shut up now.

Kuvia Diaries - Day Five

2010-01-15T12:31:00.000-06:00

"Finally! I'm never doing this again!"

So I decided to go to Kuvia today and see if I can weasel my way into a T-shirt. We have a friend who is in COUP, and she said she would see what she could do, but as a newbie she doesn't carry that much weight. I stood in line, and said my student ID. The person on the computer was "oh wait...did you go yesterday?" To which I said "yeah, but I was late...could I still get a T-Shirt?" She asks the higher up, who asks me what RSO workshop I went to. I thankfully remembered which RSOs were there yesterday, thanks to my blogging about Kuvia, so I said "TapThat!" and she handed me a wristband. Though I think it helped that she sorta knew me. She was an SD who worked with our group and she was also the TNS co-chair. So that helps my case.

The last day is pretty easy. Go to Henry Crown, listen to some things, find out that Dodd-Mead won the partcipation award, and then walk to the point. At the point, do 10 sun salutations (or as many as you can when the calisthenic leaders are watching and stop when they aren't). Then, you don't go on a bus back to campus (unless you're one of the minority who gets to the bus first), and walk to Henry Crown to get a shirt and breakfast.

The shirt design this year is a polar bear breathing fire, but the fire is in the shape of a phoenix. I guess it could also be a polar bear eating a phoenix. Dude's got balls. I wouldn't think about eating a fire bird. That's gotta hurt your digestive system. And it's actually a T-shirt, not a long sleeve t-shirt, so you can wear it often and its not too garish such that you look silly wearing it. It just looks like you have a shirt with a bear breathing fire on it. That's pretty rad.

Anyways, I'm tired. The final count was 3 ex-Wicks and 1 current Wick lasted all five days, but 4 ex-Wicks and 2 current Wicks got a T-shirt. Fun times. Anyways, I got stuff to do. Tune in next time.

Kuvia Diaries: Day Four - Roommate Fail

2010-01-14T09:08:00.001-06:00

Aleks: Why didn't you wake me up???????

Me: Why didn't you wake ME up????????

Aleks: Because I wasn't awake myself

Me: Oh, that makes sense

So I didn't get to Kuvia today. I woke up a little early, and decided to relax for a minute. Apparently that was an hour. My first thought was that I forget to set my clocks back. But alas, no, it was 6:45. Very upset, I fell back asleep. Now, you may ask, why didn't anyone wake you up? Because they too were asleep or not around. Apparently Aleks was relying on me to wake him up, as I was relying on him. Michael stays at Broadview and Kris stays at Paula's. So realizing the need for redundancy in the system, we both sorta...fail. I doubt anybody could do that for us, but if someone snuck in line and gave our student id numbers this morning, we may be safe. Doubtful, of course. Who knows any numbers they don't need to? Especially if they haven't heard it. I'd be more afraid if Michael actually knew my student ID number.

Anyways, this is what I would have talked about: Violet Gannon led calisthenics, and then the activities were Tai Kwon Do, Tap That! (sex is pretty good exercise, maybe that's why I'm chubby; EDIT - Tap That! is tap dancing, I wish I knew before I showed up to the meeting naked), and Swing Dance. I like swing dance.

Oh well, I guess I actually slept a respectable (albeit sporadic) amount of time. Now I have stuff to do. Tune in next time.

Kuvia Diaries: Day Three

2010-01-13T20:09:00.001-06:00

"Hey, is your vision steadily narrowing down to a pinpoint as if the darkness is closing in on you?"

So today I had a physics problem set due at 9:30 and a stat problem set due at 10:30 (in class), which meant I was up until 1am working on this. Normally, this isn't a big deal. Hey, if I wake up at 8 I still get 7 hours of sleep! Yeah, but I woke up at 5. For Kuvia. I didn't finish, so I woke up at 5 and did more work and then left at 5:45.

So Kuvia. We got there a little late, and the fun run just started when we got there, but because of COUP's silliness, they did it while half the people were still downstairs. But whatevs. Susan Art led calisthenics. Didn't make any sense. I was reminded of an episode of dragon tails, where they told kids to "Reach for the Stars!" Man, that show is so good when you're extremely tired.

The RSOs were Genkikai Aikido, UBallet, and Flamenco. Most of those things scare me, but I chose Aikido. I like things that are practical. I guess you could incapacitate someone with Flamenco, and I guess ballet has some badass kicks. But I made my choice. Unfortunately, Aikido is the queer martial art. I'm not being mean, but its the most spiritual and has an obtuse concept of physics. We learned how to fight off Rob, so that was cool. I recommend it if you think you aren't good enough for other martial arts.

And then, I went to the Reg and worked some more until class at 9:30. And then I did stuff. Tune in next time.

Kuvia Diaries: Day Two

2010-01-12T16:43:00.025-06:00

"Wait, we're doing this again?"

The first day is easy. You have had plenty of rest before the week started so one day of little sleep won't hurt. But two days? Fuck me.

While the first day has a huge line, the rest of the week doesn't. This is for two reasons: 1) people wuss out 2) registration goes faster because they already have your name on file.

Today we made it to the fun run and Ted O'Neill organized the calisthenics. We did the hokey pokey, it's a dance, but it also refers to something I'd like Ted to do to me. He had us all moaning by the end of the exercise. The man knows how to get us worked up.

After the usual rigamarole, the RSOs on display were Shotokan Karate, Gingarte Capoeira, and Argentine Tango. Today, I felt like dancing and tried tango. I did salsa last year, and that was a fail, one of the biggest since Afro Ninja. Also, I tried Capoeira before, and it involves a woman yelling at us to do handstands. I don't respond well to pressure. Nor do I respond well to breaking the laws of physics. So screw that. Tango isn't as bad as salsa, though it seems really chauvinist. The female dancer didn't speak at all, so I decided to boycott tango until they get with the 21st century. Though since I'll never do tango again anyways, this conflict won't ever come up.

This time, they cheaped out and got Kool Aid pouches instead of Capri Sun.

I went home and then did a whole bunch of stuff. Tune in next time.

Kuvia Diaries: Day One

2010-01-11T21:48:00.000-06:00

The University of Chicago Tradition of Kuviasungnerk/Kangeiko is an old one indeed, and the bulk of it happens before dawn, where we run, jump, and play in a week long gauntlet for the ultimate prize: a free T-shirt.

What I find is because Kuvia happens at such a restrictive hour, you get two types of people: those who do Kuvia and those who don't. And those who don't do Kuvia regard this at cult-like level, primarily because of its "secretness" and its exotic name. But let me tell you something, Kuvia is not something to be afraid of. I have been past the curtain, and I come back to take you with me. Kuvia not some sort of mysterious cabal, it's simply a celebration of the University of Chicago and pointing out that yes, we work out sometimes.

The first day of Kuvia is the easiest. You surprise your body with a sudden change in consciousness and you kinda feel good. Like you are in control of the situation.

I get up pretty early and mentally prepare. My roommates and I decide that we've paid our Kuvia dues and drive to Henry Crown. Usually we walk, in the spirit of Kuvia, and it wasn't even that cold so there was no reason not to. Except we're third years, and we can. We arrive at 5:50 and there is a line out the door. Soon after our arrival, the line extended to a good chunk of Max P. Waiting in line was a horrid affair. The first day usually means a lot of people show up. It'll die down soon enough. By the time we got there, they had already finished the fun run (my favsies) and were doing stretching. Apparently the bus was funny and they were stalling for time. Once everybody arrived, they did the little introduction and taught the sun salutation. Then, the crowd broke up and went to different parts of the gym. The three RSOs giving demos today were Baile Bhangra, Rhythmic Bodies in Motion (RBIM) and Hwa Rong Do. Aikido may have been there, they were on the schedule, but I didn't notice their name being called. Having done most of this already, I chose Hwa Rong Do, mostly because I wasn't in the mood to dance and martial arts can give you a nice workout.

We did some basic exercises, featuring punches, front kicks, and roundhouse kicks. I felt like Chuck Norris. I bet I could get my own TV show: Adam Large: Jew Ranger. I would fight anti-Semitism through violence. Then maybe I could get a discount at Morry's.

We did this for half an hour, and then it was 7:30, and we were allowed to leave, with some free Capri-Sun and a bagel. Actually energized, we still knew that the battle has just begun.

New Years Resolutions

2009-12-31T22:18:00.000-06:00

I'm reaching for the stars on this year. I want to start this decade right.

1. Post regularly Maybe Tuesday/Thursday will be better for me?
2. Get a lab job, or at least find a lab that works for me and find some way to survive (try to find a TA job, as my previous attempt failed)
4. Never surrender
5. Do a good deed in Sasan's name
6. Become a sommelier (after my 21st birthday)
7. Become a notary
8. Eat better, exercise more, and all those things people always say but later put off
9. Contrary to the previous resolution, go on more crawls
10. Eat, like, the biggest chili dog ever!

The Hidden Dangers of Bargain Buying

2009-12-31T21:49:00.000-06:00

Having fun is expensive. All those movies, music, video games, books you have to buy cost money. In an effort to save money for things like food and warmth, I try to buy these things used. But recently, I've realized something: I've been spending more money! '

Seeing great deals on all those things I love just makes me want to buy it. "It's usually $40, and now its $15, I'd be stupid not to buy it!" But what happens? My need to buy stuff at a discount is greater than my need to buy stuff at retail prices. What ends up happening is all those great deals add up to more money than I thought. Sure, I got more fun out of the same amount of money, but for some reason I can't explain to the gas company that I'd pay my bills with personal satisfaction.

If you're a regular (Sam), then you'd know I talk a lot about video games. Console games are commonly $60. Now Sam, as a Jew you can agree with me that this is outrageous. Especially considering that many games are simply bad. I honestly cannot see many games that are worth that sticker price. Even games that I love (Borderlands) I bought on sale. It's worth $50, in my opinion, at the most. It seems every console generation, games get $10 more expensive. And the portable market is pretty mean too, especially the PSP with $40 games that are mostly stripped down versions of PS2 and PS3 games. One of the reasons for the increase in price is the increase in technology that allows better games (read: more artists to make it prettier). And the economic climate is also cited as a reason for the high prices, as if consumers weren't suffering as much (or more) and this just makes things worse. There are ways to rectify this, but the ones in place aren't doing enough.

Theater prices are also obsence, and I've already mentioned how I feel about digital distribution in the music industry. Overall, I see the price of entertainment increases as both part of the overall economic fluxes, technology advances, and the dangers of industry. You know why Steam is so popular? You don't need no stupid discs, all you gotta do is download. It's cheaper for the same game. I approve of the move to online markets, and the PSP Go may be revolutionary but these markets can also suffer from overhead and the like.

A look at the Vampire fad

2009-12-31T20:58:00.001-06:00

I'm putting my anthropologist hat on this one. So recently we can tell that there is a huge vampire fad going on right now. Everybody is talking about how pervasive they are in the culture, and many cite Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series as a major instigator in all of this.

While I do not aim to completely describe all of this, I contend that the current vampire "fad" is merely a continuation with the popular human fascination with vampirism, which may have been strengthened due to modern sensibilities.

Humans have always been interested in vampires. They look like us, they talk like us, they pretty much are us. Except one thing: they have managed to conquer the one thing that humans fear most: death. The rejection of death is part of the vampire mystique, and this is coupled to the vampire as a bringer of and end as well. The myth of vampire is so pervasive in human culture, and much has changed, so some of the rules are flexible. Some stories tell of vampires outright killing their victims, some transforming them into vampires, and some say they can choose. In any way, they are the grim reaper of sorts. Death-affirming yet death-negating.

You can cite numerous examples of vampires in the media. Twilight, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, to name a few. Some would say this is a fad that has arisen. The success of twilight as a vamp romance may have caused incarnations of this subgenre, but if you think about it, twilight didn't cause anything; it came as a result of our love of vampires not the other way around. I know its almost a new decade, but look back to the early 2000s and even the 90s. What do you get? Buffy, Blade, Underworld, Bloodrayne, From Dusk till Dawn. Go even further to the grindhouse days, where vampire movies were a staple (Dracula and Blacula). Even our so called "modern" goth subculture isn't anything new, but started with punk music in the 70s and 80s. Maybe our current vampire explosion is just a meeting of several subcultures melding together. Usually we don't notice the fad until after its saturation point.

In this, we see a move from vampire fighting to vampire fucking.

What caused this change? I'd like to refer to my favorite device to look at modern culture: millennialism. Basically, millennialism is a mindset of "the end of the world" that came as we entered the new millennium. This is often linked to a certain utopianism, or look towards an idyllic past. I personally believe this is the cause of so many "reboot" movies we have seen: it is an attempt to recreate a once peaceful past in the face of a depressing modern age. This is also my belief as to why we embrace vampires even more so now: they cheat death. We are looking at our demise, whether it be terrorism, global warming, or some ambiguous supernatural event. So what do we look to? Those who have transcended life. And why should we fight them? We want what they have, we want to be them, and we want them.

Vampires are byronic heroes, cynical, intellecuctual, and charismatic. A perfect fit for this modern mindset.

3D! Ooo!

2009-12-29T17:31:00.000-06:00

So anways, its almost the new year, and I want to at least post everything that I wanted to as sort of a fresh start. Basically all that stuff I meant to say earlier will be said in an action-packed week. (minus the bad ideas I had)

So the concept of 3D is coming back. Those of us alive in the 50s would remember it. I wasn't around and I don't, but maybe there is someone who reads this blog (not likely) that does remember (even less likely). And I don't have a specific problem with it per se, but I have a problem with how its been done so far.

First off, a clarification. What people advertise as 3D is not technically 3D. It's stereoscopic, which results in a plane where certain things seem to be in front of others. True 3D would essentially be a box in which one could see the characters in all 360 degrees. Or watch a play. That's 3D.

Can 3D be used as an artistic medium? Probably. Has it? I dunno. Some people say Avatar actually utilizes 3D effectively. For the most part its just an excuse to have things fly at people.

Also, I can see how it makes fiscal sense to have movies that are both in 3D and 2D, but I lose a certain degree of respect for the movie as an artwork. The medium isn't that much different, but it is different in certain ways and I don't see the movie as utilizing all aspects of its medium when it straddles two of them. Of course, movies are expensive, and its one of the art forms that have a high investment value. "High Art" artists often don't make much money, but they make art for arts sake. Movies are art, but they need to make money. And I can see that until the cost of 3D is low enough, you will find movies that are for both 2D and 3D and that only those with the money will use. You need the gimmickiness to finance the technology.

I'm just waiting for 3D to be as common as canvas.

Movie Review: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

2009-12-29T16:32:00.000-06:00

There really isn't much you need to say about The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, as long as you say its a Terry Gilliam movie. Known as "The American Guy from Monty Python," Terry Gilliam is a crazy motherfucker whose previous films include Brazil, Time Bandits, 12 Monkeys, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and The Adventures of Baron Munchausen.

The basic premise of the movie is that Doctor Parnassus constantly makes deals with the devil, ultimately causing to promise his daughter's soul to the devil upon her 16th birthday. To get her back, he takes more wagers and everything gets topsy-turvy. The wagers usually involve acquiring souls by making them choose the high road or the low road when inside the imaginarium, a space that exists as a space where someone's imagination runs wild.

The central character in all this is Tony, played (mostly) by Heath Ledger. I say mostly because he died during the production of this movie. But that ain't a problem for Terry. The concept of imaginary spaces makes this a easy problem so solve. Heath Ledger would play Tony in the real world, but actor would change once he entered the Imaginarium. So they got Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law to play the imaginary versions of the character. And it works! They set it up earlier such that other people would change their appearance upon entering the area, so it wouldn't be so weird when Heath Ledger is swapped out. They even made cute jokes about it, such as when Tony would look at his reflection and be surprised to see that he looked different. All of the actors did a remarkable job, but I loved Heath Ledger the best.

The major characters in this movie all have great depth. But to keep things from being incredibly muddled, each have clear goals in mind. Everybody has a purpose but refrain from being simple. However, there is very little growth during the movie, so you feel like something is missing.

Now I'm no artist, but you could could believe that I have experience in aesthetics and anthropology, so excuse me when I say that I have no idea what this movie means, if anything. But it was shiny and made you think, even if all you thought was "This movie is messed up."

Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes

2009-12-27T18:59:00.002-06:00

I don't want to say too much, but I do want to say a few things that should be said.

Something that annoys me is how movies can disobey the laws of nature without anybody caring, but when someone takes creative liberties on literature, so many people get upset. Why should anybody assume that a character from one medium should be indentical to the character in another medium? Honestly, there isn't that great of a difference between Holmes in the novels and Holmes in the movie. Remember Casino Royale? You got Daniel Craig playing a gritty Bond, unlike the polished gentleman we were familiar with. But I still loved it, and I still love Sherlock Holmes. Fine, so it isn't precisely a reboot, as it starts when Watson marries Mary, but you really shouldn't hold it against Guy Ritchie to making it "cool." He gotsta get paid. And it's not as if this was a real Holmes story. There was nothing to keep true to, per se. Doyle wrote his stories piecewise, and even killed Holmes off in one episode, only to bring him back when he needed more money.

Besides, Holmes used cocaine, but I don't mind that they left that out.

Another thing I appreciate was (spoiler alert!) there was no sex scene! There was a romantic interest (which I tolerated) but no actual sex involved. You may not know how happy I felt that they didn't waste any time with useless sex and they that they actually kept true to Holmes' spirit (for those who hate). I only tolerate the romantic interest, and thank goodness Rachel McAdams is pretty enough to distract me from how much I hate unneeded romantic interests (I mean she was only present in one of the stories and merely mentioned in others).

Anyways, to the more substantial stuff (briefly), the Holmes/Watson dynamic is great, and the subplot of Watson's marriage is well done, it's just the main plot that may be lacking. It's completely predictable and resembles a Dan Brown novel, but it keeps the buddy cop thing going, so I can't complain too much. Any excuse for Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law to be on screen is good enough for me.

Somewhat Belated Game Review: Borderlands

2009-12-26T16:17:00.001-06:00

A new game review, just in time for not the holidays (except Kwanzaa)!

Yes, Borderlands has been out for awhile, and yes I have had time to post this earlier, and yes I kinda suck at blogging, but whatever.

So Borderlands has been out for a little while, so this is more of a list of awesome things that need to be said, rather than a straight review.

Borderlands takes post-apocalyptic and makes it, like Edward Cullen, sparkle. It is a first-person shooter role playing game, which I find delightful, mostly cuz I love shooting just as much as I love micromanaging. So essentially what you get is Diablo with guns. And let me tell you, Diablo II is still one of my favorite games ever. Borderlands takes this idea and runs with it. Story? Sorta there, but why worry? Let's just take quests that are just thin excuses for shooting stuff. And what kind of treasure do you find? More guns! Lots and lots and lots of guns. The use of the terms "lust" and "porn" are a bit cliche nowadays, but I can honestly say that this is the best example of gun lust (or gun porn) so far. There are plenty of chests in the game, and it's so exciting to open one up and see what guns are inside it, you could almost call it sexual.

A little detour is needed, because the size of the game's armory comes from a system called Procedural Content Creation. A computer science friend of mine says its the shit, and I believe him. Basically, what that means is that each gun is randomly generated based on its attributes such as firepower, rate of fire, accuracy, and various other goodies like fire and acid damage. This system is also used in creating the baddies, to make each variation slightly different in their modes of attack. It's like if the Left 4 Dead Director decided to stop being an ass and start letting the players have fun.

And fun is to be had on the planet of Pandora, which isn't the most creative name. All I know is when I watch Avatar, I keep waiting for the mercenaries to show up. There was that one time when I was listening to Pandora and the game's theme song, "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" came on. It blew my mind. I must admit, I'm a sucker for slide guitar; it's the only reason why I was able to get through half of an episode of True Blood.

And, it wouldn't be a review if I didn't mention that is uses the Unreal engine, which I have already professed my love for, though a menage a trois with the Source engine would be amazing.

Lastly, for all you Fallout or Bioshock fans, you will feel at home on Pandora. Borderlands took a page from 1950s cartoons, especially in the vending machines where you can buy health and ammo. Not only that, but the art direction is pretty sweet. It's sorta half cel-shading. They kept the outlines, but still have the 3D look.

It's a very unique experience, and a game anybody who is interested in video games should play.

Kogi: Korean BBQ-To-Go

2009-12-24T00:56:00.001-06:00

This may be a regular(ish) thing - twitterified taco trucks!

Kogi is one of many food trucks that run around Los Angeles whileposting their location on twitter. Usually they give you a heads up as to where they'll be, and all you have to do is show up. Kogi is a Korean taco truck (strange I know), and I can say it something very interesting. Moments prior to the arrival of the truck, you already find a group of people waiting around. Everyone is holding a cell phone or PDA, keeping track of the website or the twitter feed.

It gets dark and nobody wants to go out of line to look at the menu on the side of the truck. Instead, people just look up the menu online and just point to what they want to the staff.

We ordered a few things:

"Hamburger"

It's basically a ham and cheese sandwich, but with some surprises. For one, you will notice a nice addition of kimchi (I told you it was Korean), along with plenty of sauces and spices. Fuzzums had this, and he said it was the strangest thing he had ever had. It was crazy flavored and he couldn't even tell it was ham that he was eating. It was just a flavor combination unseen before.

Spare Rib Taco

These tacos are small, like very small. But amazingly good. They're so mini, you probably need about 4 of them to make them worthwhile. The meat is amazingly tender, and I dig the cilantro-green onion-lime relish.

Burrito

This is kinda a breakfast burrito, but I don'tcare, it has eggs! And potatoes! And the meat is delish, too. Mmm, chicken and eggs, its so delightfully incestuous. It's also got chedder and jack cheese, onions, cilantro, and Kogi slaw (chiffonade romain and cabbage lettuce tossed in chili-soy vinaigrette)

For us, the truck was about 30 minutes late, and it took another 30 minutes before we got to the front of the line (it's fairly quick once they set up everything), and then it was really fast to get the food. They don't have time for dilly-dallying (it's kinda like the soup nazi) so know what you order before you get it. It's totally worth the wait, people. Totally.

I think the best description of Kogi is what you'll say as you eat it: "I don't know what I'm eating, but I love it!"

A History of Guitar Hero

2009-12-18T19:52:00.003-06:00

There's a lot to the Guitar Hero line of games, and I've always wanted a rundown of them, so I'm posting this for myself, and other people who care (most likely nobody)

Guitar Hero

The Game that started it all, released in 2005 for the PS2. Developed by Harmonix and Published by RedOctane and MTV Games. The guitar was a Gibson SG Nothing too spectacular here, most of the songs were covers, but it was the first.

Guitar Hero 2

Hey! We're getting somewhere! Guitar Hero 2, made by the same dudes, but now for the PS2 (in 2006) and the XBox 360 (In 2007)!
We got mulitplayer! Still covers, though. Xbox fans get Gibson X-Plorer

Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s

Now I love this game. I don't care about the game itself. It's pretty bland. Only 80s songs (some say its a plus) but without all the features of the other games. It really was just a sample of 80s songs, fewer in number than the other games. But the story behind it is so awesome. It was pretty much a "Fuck You" to RedOctane/Activision. Harmonix wanted out, but their contract stated that they would make three games for their publisher. So what did they do? Slap on some 80s songs and call it a day. And with that, they were able to get out of their contract and meet back up with MTV games.

Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock

So its the big time. Guitar Hero III was on every system, and featured a new guitar, the Gibson Les Paul. Sexy. Anyways, since Harmonix left the show, Activision needed somebody else to push around. So they got Neversoft. If you don't know about the Activision/Neversoft relationship that shouldn't be, they are the ones who created the Tony Hawk line of games. And that's kinda what you got. A Tony Hawk version of Guitar Hero. Everything has been upped, though not always for the best. It's XXXTREME! Sorta. They have boss battles for no reason at all, and all the characters got a facelift and a personality change. What really gets me is the lack of Co-op Quickplay, but they kept Co-op Career mode. Yeah, that's what I want. But suddenly, they got actual master tracks, and the Sex Pistols re-recorded "Anarchy in the UK" for the game.

Then Guitar Hero: Aerosmith happened. I won't cover it here. I'm saving Band versions for another day.

Guitar Hero World Tour. Now, there's vocals and drums! Wow, what happened? Rock Band happened. That's vengeance for you. Harmonix leaves Activision to work with Electronic Arts and makes a new game, one that blows guitar hero out of the water. Unless, guitar hero and Activision step up. And World Tour is what you get. And, as before, everything is stepped up. World Tour takes the problems of Rock Band (which came out a good year before World Tour, around the same time as Guitar Hero III) and fixes some. And then they try to make more. They made character creation more customizable, to a point of inaneness. Oh, I can change the size of the dials on my guitar? Great, how about they be normal size?

I do enjoy the pseudo-caster, as they can no longer make replica guitars. It's bigger, has a bigger strum bar, bigger whammy bar, bigger select button, and a slider bar that's stupid. They also added a song studio mode, where you can create a song by making its different tracks, but it can't amount to much, because nobody cares, and who wants to play people's songs that aren't famous? Guitar Hero gets more and more obscure in this version, and thinks people want to play random songs that are barely more intense than midi files. And there isn't vocals, probably because they didn't want people to upload songs about penises.

Guitar Hero: Smash Hits

So this makes me laugh. Rock Band has been kicking ass with their downloadable content, and Rock Band 2 (coming out around the same time as World Tour) had the amazing feature of allowing users to upload the songs from the first game to the new one. This meant there was a pool of Rock Band songs that could be played. Guitar Hero didn't do that. There wasn't any song sharing, so you couldn't play your favorite songs on Guitar Hero III on World Tour. Smash Hits is, as you would guess, the "hits" of the other titles. Wow, just wow. Not only do they rip people off by making them buy more and more discs (as opposed to simply getting songs), they try to charge people to buy another disc of all the songs they may already have, just because they are now on one game! Plus, there is only 48 songs, which is pennies compared to contemporary games. But they do learn their lesson, later....

Guitar Hero 5

Guitar Hero 5 actually can upload songs from the previous two titles (World Tour and Smash Hits). But before you say "so they finally caught up with Rock Band," check this:

Of the 86 songs in World Tour, 35 will be able to be uploaded (so far).
Of the 48 songs in Smash Hits, 21 will be able to be uploaded (so far).

But I actually like Guitar Hero 5. They did something right. They actually improved the genre. Here's what I appreciate:

drop-in/drop-out play: people can enter and leave in the middle of the song
bands of any combination of instruments. I think this was a way for them to negotiate the fact that they've convinced people to buy so many plastic instruments, people probably have tons of them. I know I have 3 guitars and 3 microphones, and one drums.
Various multiplayer modes, while I think is cool, I doubt their last because let's be honest. You're drunk, you just want to rock. Who wants rules and stuff to get in the way? They try to have their cake and eat it too.

This was a return to form, and I may make it a purchase later on. That may be a post for another day.

Band Hero

I almost hate to mention the existence of this game. You know how Guitar Hero so far was all about Rock? Well, they feel bad about excluding Pop. So they make Band Hero. I don't know how many songs are here, the existence of another giant box at Gamestop angers me too much to read. But you can't help but hear that No Doubt (also on Rock Band) and Taylor Swift is there. In fact, there are 3 Taylor Swift songs! AND you can play as her! I'm sorry, but really? This came out November 2009, Guitar Hero 5 in September 2009. What are you trying? To make sure that no matter what, every christmas tree will have at least one ridiculous plastic instrument? They fixed the drums, so that sounds cool. If they're cross-compatible (and at this point you'd have to be if you don't want to be the victim of nerd-rage), they may be my next set.

The songs from prior games that can be imported to GH5 also work for Band Hero. And, like those crazy people they care, about 69 of the 85 songs in GH5 can be imported to Band Hero. And about the 61 of the 65 songs of Band Hero can be imported to Guitar Hero 5. So really you're paying another $60 to have a different color scheme. There isn't much difference between the two games, aside from the songs, and even those can be shared. But it gets worse...

DJ Hero

You know how Guitar Hero so far was all about Rock and Pop? Well, they feel bad about excluding Rap. So they make DJ Hero. Well, DJ Hero came out at around the same time as GH5 and Band Hero. So what's the difference? More plastic instruments! This time, you get a turntable, and get to manipulate remixes (a good number, around 94) that mashes up two songs. It's actually kinda neat, I mean its a refreshing idea (sorta). And you can actually play along with a guitar. So its really DJ/Guitar Hero. I like this because at least it tries to recycle.

Remember, this is an Activision franchise, which I already mentioned does Tony Hawk. So every year expect at least one new title. Guitar Hero 6 is already slated for Fall 2010. And speaking of Tony Hawk coming out time and time again...

Tony Hawk Ride

So this is not guitar hero, but I just want to mention it. Another plastic controller. It's a faux skateboard that lets you act out your favorite skating tricks without going outside. This is the most accurate game thus far. You need to jump to jump, push to push, and all that. I dig the motion sensor on the sides that detect your foot moving past which lets you move your character forward. But the gameplay is more of a toy than anything. It seems even fancy controllers won't take a Tony Hawk game any further. It's dead, guys, it isn't the 90s anymore, you just can't sell skateboarding like this anymore.

To a Great Man, Sasan Ahoraian

2009-12-15T20:23:00.003-06:00

So my computer is in the shop, had massive problems, but I felt this was too important to wait until I get it back, so this is from my phone.

A few days ago (Saturday December 12th), a good friend died. He was at a concert and suddenly he went limp and collapsed. Even though they got him to a hospital, he passed away. This was a shock to everyone. How could a triathlete and an avid swimmer just collapse like that? He was a model of fitness, and yet he was taken from us, at the age of twenty.

The first time we were really together was in 6th grade, where we had a project to write a story about China. My mom just loved him, especially when he said "Oh, girls can wait. I want to focus on my studies first" I guess he eventually realized he could have both. We have had a lot more class projects since then. I remember being the only two guys at speech practice sophomore year, and he would help with the extemp tubs, though it was just us talking about random stuff. That was also the time when we were duo partners, with that godawful script "That Darn Plot!" When I tried to introduce contra dance to my friends back home, he was the only one who took my word for it when I said it was fun and actively tried to get people to come. We have these stories, and he will always live on through them. And it really sucks that the last time I have seen him was a year ago. I wish I knew that I was saying goodbye to him for the last time that night.

He always wanted us to love each other, to stress the importance of family. He cared for all of us, and was there whenever we needed him. It's a shame he is gone, because there are so many people who need him now that he is gone. He has always helped us grow as people, and he continues to teach us, even after his death. That life is short, and if you care about someone, you show it. That friendship and love is such an important thing, and we should embrace it every day. A few weeks ago, we were talking about how we haven't seen each other in a long time, and we really needed to hang out again. But nobody knew that right when I arrive, he leaves. I wasn't the only one who have experienced this. Many of us were about to write on his wall, only to find out it was filled with sad thoughts. Just when we thought we would finally see him again, we found out we wouldn't.

And of course, there is just as much pain amongst those who see him all the time, only to not see him again. And I can't even imagine what it would have been like to be one of those who were with him that night. To have the time of your life, only to see your friend collapse. We need to cherish our time together, and spend as much time together as possible. You may never know when the next time you'll see each other, if at all.

Even in 5th grade, when all I knew about him was that he was the kid who was on the Jay Leno show, he wanted to be a cardiologist. His sister was born with a heart problem, and he was determined to become a cardiologist so he can help people that suffer from heart problems. I know the doctors who treated him did the best they could, but I like to think that if they had half the intelligence and determination Sasan did, he would still be with us. If he lived to become a doctor, I'm sure he could have prevented other people to experience the loss that we feel.

The world didn't just lose a future doctor. It lost a caring boyfriend, an great friend, a loving son, and a amazing person.

Things that Warrant a Pony

2009-11-25T17:08:00.000-06:00

I couldn't find a list anywhere on the internet, so I decided to make one.

Things that Warrant a Pony (a work in progress)

Having parents rich enough to buy a pony, and you being spoiled (probably the most common route taken)
Witnessing the death of a loved one
Realizing the futility of existence
Getting good grades in school in pony-related subjects (speaking of which, I'm teaching BIOS 29308 - My Favorite Ponies next quarter, with an emphasis on Ponionomy, Poniology, and Poniometrics)
Being in the hospital through week 9
Having a genetic disorder (kids with tourettes love riding horses, as I've recently learned)
When your parents really screw up your life
Sitting through "Twilight" and not liking it (in a delightful twist of fate, those who like Twilight are those who also want ponies, oooh catch 22!)
Winning the Gallon Challenge
If Scav requires it
Sharing your scented markers

And Finally...

Eating, like, the Biggest Chili Dog Ever!

Cupcake Chicago

2009-11-09T20:53:00.001-06:00

So I was downtown last Friday, waiting for La Photographe and La Guapa, when I remembered that a new cupcake place opened up, and it was only open on weekdays. So I was like "well, hell yeah" and went to The Cupcake Counter (229 W. Madison Street)

The Cupcake Counter is incredibly easy to miss. It's between a parking garage another parking garage. Inside there is a little bar area with four chairs, but it was pretty awkward to sit there. Rather, I just went to the nearby to the Argo Tea and ate my cupcake with an chilled Mate Latte (no ice).

It's an adorable little place that tries to sell adorable little foods and yet claims that they are a cupcake place with a straight face. Really? You guys have like 4 flavors of cupcakes, and I couldn't even find them amidst the other stuff you sell. These adorable little cupcakes cost you $3. Yeah, that's pretty pricey. And they don't look like nothing special. Besides this, I chose to get an apricot pear and go about my business.

What I found was that this was a good cupcake. Like it was good. It wasn't bad. at all. It was a good cupcake. The only thing stopping it from being a great cupcake was the price. This is a solid cupcake, but for the amount you get, make it $2. I can't see myself buying another one of these, but I really want to. It's so strange. I can't stand by while people break the bank to purchase one of these little dudes, but still. The cake itself was moist and tender and the icing was just right. Silky and just the right amount of sweetness. And the flavor was unique and original. Not too overpowering.

But that's just it. For something that is so wonderfully simple, the price isn't.

Overall, It gets a 4/7. It's good, but you can go other places and be just as well off and still have some cash left in your pocket.

By the way, there are other good stuff at The Cupcake counter. I really want to try the Frosting Shot "Rich frosting inside a chocolate shot glass"

Something Happened that Really Frightened Me

2009-11-06T14:36:00.000-06:00

So I was sitting in Art History, looking at painting by Le Nain, and I thought to myself, "Why do poor people have so many children?"

Now I'm referring to the peasantry of the the middle ages and early modern europe, not "poor people" in the current sense of the term.

And I get that they worked farms, so they need more hands. And that there was diseases, so you had to make sure you had enough that would last. And I spose there's nothing to do when you're a peasant but make children. But at the same time, its you would make yourselves more peasant-y. You make more people to make more food, but then you have more people to feed. I'm sure there is an equilibrium point when the limiting factor is the land you have to work with such that more hands give diminishing returns and then provide a loss on profit (by "profit" I mean "living").

So I got to thinking "well, the economics works itself out. I mean, not for everybody, I'm sure the peasants who did well were able to manage this. I mean, macroscopically, it all worked out just fine, it's just an issue of microscopic management. I guess it all depends on the market. The economy will sort it all out."

And then I thought "Oh God, I'm a Libertarian"

But then I thought "Eh, probably not"

And that's my story

Yo, XKCD shape up

2009-11-04T08:39:00.001-06:00

Maybe I'm taking the job away from XKCD Sucks but I want a piece.

Yes, this is all very cute and such, and maybe its my tiredness that makes me angry, or maybe it's just Randall Munroe didn't have ideas so he decided to lie.

The Pauli exclusion principle simply thats that two electrons sharing the same orbital much have different quantum numbers. This is realized as their spin number, one spins at 1/2, the other at -1/2. Thats it!

The whole "lower energy is filled first" is the Aufbau principle (German for building up, construction" ).

And for the record, the other rule is Hund's rule, which says unoccupied orbitals of the same energy level will be first filled before occupied orbitals of that energy level will. That's sorta what's going on, but not in the way Randall here explains it.

Sure Pauli could concievably been one to make a "sexclusion" principle that was more like the Aufbau principle, but honestly, the whole pun doesn't work out so well and Pauli said nothing about energy states.

Cissy is Mean

2009-11-02T21:58:00.001-06:00

'Nuff Said

Hey, you want a post or not?

2009-11-02T20:46:00.000-06:00

Okay, I need more pirates, so here it goes. This is actually my midterm essay, so grammar sucks:

The concept of a "social bandit" has existed in many forms throughout history. Some see social banditry, those who fight for the weak against the strong, as a real part of life. Others see it merely as a myth created in the minds of the people in order to have a certain level of escapism from oppression in their lives. Though much work has been done on banditry in the strict sense, the subject of a sea banditry, or piracy, has not had as much scrutiny. There can be claims that between Renaissance Piracy, Buccaneering, and Golden Age piracy, there has been increasing levels of applicability of the "social bandit" label.

The concept of a social bandit was brought forth by Eric Hosbawm, who claimed that social bandits usually rose from the peasant, agricultural societies. It is not merely men taking what they need rather than starving, it is an attempt at reform disruptions to their way of life. This can especially be seen as a byproduct of a change in the modes of production that creates a new social order, leaving the peasants in their political economy forced to change to meet the demands of society. Hobsbawm classifies three types of social bandits: Noble Robbers, the Robin Hood type, Avengers, who use terror to invert power rather than restore it, and haiduks, the guerrilla fighters. For Hobsbawm, social bandits support the peasant communities they came from to fight against the elite.

Anton Blok has a different view of the social bandit, though he is concerned with a different issue of the social bandit. He does not see the social bandit as a true entity in the world. He claims social bandits fought against the elite initially, though for revenge not reform. Moreover, the cites examples of "social bandits" who often colluded and protected by the elite. That "social bandits" seem to exist is part of a false consciousness in which people feel the need to have a powerful ally and a flase reality of how things used to be. That there was a utopian agricultural society in the past is suspect, Blok does not see social banditry as a reality, not as Hobsbawm creates it.

However, both authors discuss banditry, which existed on land. Piracy, on the other hand, exists on the sea, another world altogether. The sea, being much larger than the land, is not part of any nation, and those who sail are no longer under the watchful eye of the institution. The sea has always been romanticized itself, and those who sail on teh sea are part of that mythos. So, does pirate folklore, not bandit folklore, fit better with the concept of "social banditry" ? Truly there have been different forms of piracy, and a detailed look at each is important.

The era of Renaissance piracy is marked by the aristocracy. The sea was the realm of the noblemen, and fights between ships or between ships and land bases were an extension of the imperialistic expansion, religious animosity, and economic pull that had already eexisted in Europe at the time. Renaissance pirates were much like Hobsbawm's "Noble Robbers" in that they were attempting to represent the wants and needs of their homeland and fight against those who are wealthy. However, these were Noble Robbers on a macroscopic scale. These were not peasant communities but nations. Renissance pirates were much like privateers and corsairs in that they had certain legitimacy becomes more ambigious one leaves the shore. The primary target for all were the Spanish. They were the ones with all the booty, and the Renaissance pirates aimed at expropriating the wealth. Renaissance pirates help support Blok's opnion they were often supported and protected by the elite (of which they were from). For instance, Francis Drake fought the Spanish, stealing African slaves, attacking port towns and trading by force. Queen Elizabeth admired this, giving him her fathers ship. Later, Drake sacked Panama, captured Peruvian treasure, and claimed San Francisco for Queen Elizabeth. He was soon knighted. This shows that Renaissance piracy may not be a suitable case for the "social banditry" thesis.

What is interesting about the Buccaneers is that they were much like a mixture between Renaissance and Golden Age piracy. What makes them good candidates for "social bandits" is that they were much more of a peasant society. They existed at first as helpful "natives" to the region. They often traded their smoked meat, candles, and hides to passing ships, as well as helping out in navigation. These were not villains, per se. However, when the Spanish began pushing the Buccaneers out with scorched earth tactics, they sought retribution. This scenario shows Hobsbawm's thesis well. an imperialist, capitalist mode of production disrupting a peasant pastoral society, and from this, some rise up against the injustice. Buccaneers moved to Tortuga and Jamaica in order to gain footing against enemies. Eventually, in Jamaica, they were issued local letters of marque for some time. This shows how they too were protected by the elite in some ways.

Golden Age piracy has been much more towards Hobsbawm's image of a social bandit. Pirates were a byproduct of the changing economic conditions. Low wages, and poor conditions for sailors meant that many chose to become pirates, to hearken back to a greater age. In fact, the pirate utopia Libertaria was established as a pastoral community. Pirates often fought for the poor, even giving ships to the crew after boarding. Of course, some of this is inherent in the sea community. The only way peasants could be on the sea is if they were working or were a pirate, never an officer. This meant that pirates naturally fought against the rich. Nonetheless, they were often hated by the rich, such as the merchants and governors (though not all). Thus, Blok's argument is less valid yet can still be applied. Pirates had support from some, like how Blackbear gained amnesty from a North Carolina governor, and they did need people to support, since they did not produce on their own. Moreover, they were immensely romanticized. Henry Avery is seen as a champion of the people, yet was still ruthless against many, such as the Moguls. Nonetheless, this is not at a large loss to Hobsbawm's view. Golden Age pirates are a good case of how Hobsbawm and Blok do no entirely argue against the same issue. Golden Age piracy arose largely due to socioeconomic conditions and is an attempt to avenge, to invert power, and to recall a more peaceful time. They also were not protected by the elite as much and helped out the poor through smuggling. In addition, they did not attack poor coastal towns, but rather enjoyed them, like Tortuga.

What is interesting to note that as the Spanish presence in the Americas is weakened, we see a greater sense of "social banditry." This may be due to many factors, but it seems that initially, it was one against many, but gradually everybody had a stake and fought between each other, opening the door for those were not being fought for - the peasants. From the internecine national violence came a group who supported the weak against the strong, becoming "enemies of all nations" but not against the common man.

Isn't it funny when you look down on other people?

2009-10-28T11:55:00.002-05:00

I'm bored. I'm going to post something just so I can say I care.

You know, when you see someone who can't speak English correctly and you think they're stupid? It's sad, but it's true. We've been raised to see fluency as a marker of mental health/intelligence, so when we meet someone who isn't fluent, our first instinct is "Awww, who's a fuzzy?" This may be a uniquely American psychology. Though I'm sure other countries have similar issues. Maybe they think you're just ignorant, or rude, or what have you. The point is, you judge someone just because they weren't raised in that language environment their whole life.

But then it goes within America too. How many times have you met someone from another region with a different accent. You may think "how quaint" or "isn't he a cutie pie, trying to talk like big boys?" And I think it may be related to where you're from in relation to what you're hearing. And nowadays, us Blueys hear a Southern or Texan accent and we're like "You screwed us for 8 years." And it could be the other way around. This is a good example:

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But it goes further. Like midgets. I recently saw a documentary on dwarves, and I found it to be moderately entertaining. I mean, they weren't dancing or running into things at all. It was pretty banal. Though I did like this one doctor, who was a dwarf doctor! Not only was he a dwarf, he was a doctor for dwarves! That was pretty sweet. Anyways, in the show you see that because of the changes in bone structure, including the cranium, you get a different articulatory apparatus. To us, we hear their voices as squeaks, like children make. Coupled with the fact that they're small people, you can't help but swaddle them. To be fair, not all dwarves have this feature. I don't remember the specific names, but I believe achondroplasias do not have this voice problem but I'm know that primordial dwarves do. So they still have wonderfully functioning brains, but its damn hard to believe it.

Yeah, I'll admit, the only reason why I did this post is so I had an excuse to post a clip from The Critic.

Rock Band DLC slated for tomorrow!!!

2009-10-19T22:01:00.001-05:00

So two exciting tidbits in terms of Rock Band and The Beatles Rock Band.

First The Beatles Rock Band

While Apple Co doesn't want to release every single Beatles song ever, they have already promised three full-length albums to be available. That being Rubber Soul in December, Sgt. Peppers in November, and Abbey Road in October (tomorrow to be precise). This is exciting because currently the only song you can buy is All You Need is Love, but most of the cost goes towards Doctors Without Borders, so at least you can feel good while waiting for more songs. It's actually the fastest-selling downloadable song in any Rock Band. But Abbey Road is coming out, so what?

So you already get most of the good stuff on the disk. If you read my review, you'd notice that they give you a sampling of their greats, and it seems they took out the best of Abbey Road. Now, I'm not a fan of the album, so maybe you like Maxwell's Silver Hammer.

Here's the songs you already get:

Come Together
Something
Octopus' Garden
I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Because
The End (sorta)

So what do you get from the dlc?
Maxwell's Silver Hammer
Oh! Darling
Because
And the medley, which is like the selling point because the medly is a 16-minute track featuring mini songs: "You Never Give Me Your Money," "Sun King," "Mean Mr. Mustard," "Polythene Pam," "She Came in Through the Bathroom Window," "Golden Slumbers," "Carry That Weight" and "The End"

And, to be historically accurate, they let you break it up

o "You Never Give Me Your Money"
o "Sun King"/ "Mean Mr. Mustard"
o "Polythene Pam"/ "She Came in Through the Bathroom Window"
o "Golden Slumbers"/ "Carry That Weight"/ "The End"*
o "Her Majesty"

All this for $17! I'm sorry, $17 dollars is like buying 8.5 songs individually. So if it was actually a full album, it'd be worth it, as long as nothing sucked. But you already get the best of Abbey Road, so they just throw at you gimmicks, like reduced load times because the songs are back-to-back. Fair enough, I really like Golden Slumbers. Still, 16 minutes? I'm sorry but Sgt. Peppers/A Little Help was too much (and they are excellent songs) So 16 minutes, let's be generous and say that's 5 3-minute songs or so. 5 plus the 3 individuals means 8, less than individual. I was excited about the ability to play the album like it was, but this is a cop-out. They even said they were toning down the dreamscapes. This isn't a very convincing buy. I'm not saying to not buy it, but only buy it if you really like the songs and enjoy the medley idea.

Now there's something I'm really into:

Queen!

Queen is also coming out tuesday. In a ten song pack. Now check out this setlist:

Another One Bites the Dust
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Fat Bottomed Girls
I Want it All
I Want to Break Free
Killer Queen
One Vision
Somebody to Love
Tie Your Mother Down
Under Pressure

So this is really really awesome. Thanks to my dad for pointing this out for me. Queen will also feature some songs on Lego Rock Band, and a couple for download in Guitar Hero World Tour. But 10 Queen songs, now that's something. Granted, most of these are pretty mainstream, which doesn't meant they're bad, but I'd definitely buy more songs. Some are complaining about no Bohemian Rhapsody. I wish I could have Don't Stop Me Now, being the top played song on my iTunes and I've already sung along to it countless times, a good portion of which while drinking. They're thinking of a Queen Rock Band. And even though I think it's a bad idea, I'd buy it. I think it's a bad idea only because there are certain bands that are more than just bands, but cultural icons. And I love Queen, but they ain't no Beatles. I think Queen is a better idea than AC/DC, Aerosmith, and Van Halen, so I guess it could be worse. They do have an impressive catalog as well, but if they're going to nickel and dime it like Beatles, I'm afraid.

The best part? It's only $16, which is cheaper than Abbey Road, and it's worth getting 10 songs for the price of 8. For me, I love all of the songs. But if I had to consider the price, I may not have bought Tie Your Mother Down and maybe One Vision. I can't see myself not buying the other 8, so this is a great deal for me.

Tomorrow (or more likely Wednesday), once I get my roommate to help me connect my xbox to the internet, I'm spending $18 to buy 11 songs - 10 Queen, and 1 Beatles (All You Need Is Love)

Clarification

2009-10-17T11:33:00.000-05:00

I wrote that post before and after Blues'n'Ribs, and I just want to clarify some points

1) I hate on MTV for the same reason we all do - because they don't show music videos, or even play music anymore (unless its The Hills theme)

2) I hate on the Video Music Awards for not being awards about music videos, as they deserve awards just as much as music does. That's sorta another hating on altogether though. I hate the fact that people see music videos as more of a vessel to carry a song, and not as an artistic medium. It's got a worse rap than video games, in my opinion.

3) I hate on Kanye West because he doesn't understand that Beyonce did not have the best video of all time. In fact, calling it a video is a generous. Beyonce, you realize we aren't in 1900 anymore? People don't put a nickel in a machine and marvel at the amazing technology of moving pictures. Get off your ass and do something productive, I mean aside from getting off your ass to dance. Okay, now I'm hating on Beyonce. Damn you Kanye West, turning me against Sasha Fierce like that!