Let's meet them:
Codename: l'Indienne Blanc Codename: l'Alaska
Catchphrase: *CHOMP!* Catchphrase: "That's so cool!"
Special Ability: To command the power of Spices Special Ability: Homology Algebra
Our first stop was in the jolly community area of Edgewater.
Flourish Bakery and Cafe (1138 W Bryn Mawr)
La photographe took a lemon cupcake. These are her words: "First remark: $2 for a specialty cupcake strikes me as one of the hefter values and the size, though not large, was well within average range. Thick topping seemed excessive at first glance, particularly because I am NOT a fan of buttercream frosting. However, on closer inspection and tasting, was delighted to find it was unsweetened, dense whipped cream - perhaps lightly perfectly scented with lemon. Cake itself was textured just right with a smartly tart bright lemon filling whose acidity was balanced by the thick whipped topping. Sugar peel sliver was the bright sweet point. All elements were exceptionally harmonious." 7/7
l'Indienne Blanc chose the Raspberry Chocolate cupcake. She says this: "I agree with [la photographe] - the price was great. The cupcakes were a little small and dense for my taste - I think I might prefer the $4 moist, huge monstrosities (That's what she said?). The cake was tasty, as was the frosting, but the chocolate-raspberry frosting on my particular cupcake was weirdly hard and thick. Unlike [la photographe], I do love a light and creamy butter cream frosting. The atmosphere here is a little...bland? Very quiet, not bustly or eccentric, despite what seems to be leaning towards eccentricity (get a free cupcake if you answer an obscure 80's pop culture trivia question? OK.)" 5/7
l'Alaska had the carrot cake cupcake. He says such: "This has a great price-value relationship. I found the cupcake manageable, not too big or too heavy. Although the frosting/icing was a bit tall for consumption purposes. I liked that the cake was full of chunks and food and not just flavored. The icing matched it flavor-wise, but was a bit hard for eating purposes. I felt that this didn't really fill the "cupcake" definition, because the chunks made it more muffin-like, but this doesn't really make it bad." 5/7
As for your humble narrator, I chose the chocolate peanut butter cupcake. First of all, you see those peanut and chocolate chip toppings? Those are pointless. One bite and they literally exploded out of the cupcake and flew across the table. Second, notice how much more frosting there seems to be than cupcake. That isn't an optical illusion. Nope, there actually was more frosting than cake. It was so top heavy, it made it hard to handle. Not only that, the frosting was hard. So hard, I had to chew it. The cake was also hard, and had a chocolate center. Really? If I wanted a brick, I would have saved some time and went to Ace Hardware. I choked down this demon cake, needing a lot of water to ease it down. It wasn't horrible tasting; it had the flavors necessary (and the smell definitely was good). and the $2 price was good. It's a fairly traditional cupcake, but it didn't have anything special (anything special that's worthwhile, at least). 3/7After having our fill, we decided to take a short walk to the neighboring region of Andersonville. This neighborhood is famous for lesbians and Swedish people.
Swedish Bakery (5348 N Clark)
Only l'Alaska and I had a cupcake. The others were unimpressed. It seems that this bakery did not specialize in cupcakes, or even have many cupcakes, even though I've seen this place in many cupcake lists. I don't have pictures because they're on La Photographe's camera.
l'Alaska chose the yellow cupcake: "Just your average cupcake. Seems like I could get the same thing at a grocery store. I don't really want to write more about this." 3/7
I chose the chocolate cupcake. It was fudge with vanilla icing. Here's my summary of the cupcake: "Fuck. This. Shit." This is a busy bakery that has a air conditioning problem where everything else looks better than the cupcakes. Even the old dude in the back was more appetizing. The cake was decently moist, but much too sweet. The icing was like eating sugar. Sticky, messy sugar. For $1.14, it's a good price, but at what cost? A traditional (too traditional) cupcake, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but in this case, it is. 2/7
From there, we took the 22, said goodbye to l'Indienne Blanc and l'Alaska, and went onward to Uptown, in the neighborhood of Sheridan Park, to a hard-to-find place known as...
The Cupcake Gallery (1319 W Wilson)
On a minor side street, with very little in the way of a storefront, one may miss this cupcakerie. But that doesn't make it bad, does it? Let's go to the facts.
La photographe had a Peach Cobbler Cupcake. I think I deleted this photo accidentally. But it looks just like mine, so don't fret. She says thus: "$2.78 (tax incl.) is on the higher range of cupcake prices for an average sized offering. Cashier was cute in an unkempt sort of way but the backroom looked distressingly similar to a college kitchen with random assortments of objects in plastic tubs. No beverages, not even water seemed to be for sale, which is a big no-no for the consumption of sweets.
Cupcake itself has decent peach aroma but the frosting (an unidentifiable version) had a distrubingly oil consistency to it while being cloyingly sweet. Avoid. Cake portion had a nice texture, but it was a nice texture for a light muffin, not a cake - maybe a carrot cake. Was lightly flavored to the point of being devoid of peach flavor. Also, where was the cobbler aspect? Theme fail.
And the small LG A/C unit was definitely not up to the task of cooling the spacious cafe. Points for furnishing - chairs, cushions, cafe tables - minus points for how noticeably dirty they were. Also, cashier put the cupcake on the bare counter before shifting to a paper towel. WTF. Finally, 4 cupcakes (only 3 of which were available) does NOT a gallery make."2/7
I had the Orange Creamsicle cupcake.
First of all, I'm pretty sure this place is a cover. There's furniture you would find in a Persian restaurant: white leather couch, cafe chairs, striped pillows next to wall, mismatched items. This place is in the middle of nowhere, with a bare storefront and a bland banner on front. The staff is inattentive (you'd think it was closed), if there is any staff to speak of. Plus, there were only 4 types of cupcakes, and three available (besides about 5 of each type).
Here's the thing - this was a better orange creamsicle cupcake than A Taste of Heaven. It actually tasted like an orange creamsicle. The icing was pretty good (I didn't think it was that oily), though it was gooey. the cake was light and moist, but the price was a little much for the size. Still, a good effort. The cupcake gets a 4/7, for being good but not good enough.
And off we went to Southport Grocery
...20 min later...she's still upset over greasy residue
We went to Southport Grocery (3552 N Southport) in fabulous Lakeview.
But it was closed. So we moved on.
On the way, we stopped off at the Starbucks at 3359 N Southport. La photographe had three reasons for the supreme yuppiness of this Starbucks:
She enjoyed that the icing was applied to order and dutifully placed. $2.75 ($3.05 with tax) was on the pricer end but she felt it was worth it for great ambience and location.
The icing was too sweet but immensely lime-flavored. Cake was substantial but still loose. There was a small amount of custard filling that was pleasingly cold and thick. Was tart but you are overpowered by the avalanche of overly sweet lime icing. Fluffier lime topping and more custard filling would be a better ratio. STill, this was a strong contender. 5/7
I went with chocolate cheesecake.
This was the opposite to the cupcake at Flourish. It was not very well structured at all. The cupcake was gooey and fell apart upon handling. I didn't like how they kept the cupcake in a tupperware in the back. The icing was a viscous blob. It was massive. I don't mean big, I mean it had a lot of mass. The inertia contained in the icing was huge. It acted as a single unit with a mind of its own, eventually expanding across the plate. You know in horror movies where the blob just starts absorbing everything around it, getting ever bigger? Yeah, it was like that. It was also too sweet. Sugar goo, that's what they should call this. The cake itself was good. But it didn't have much in the way of cheesecake. It had a semi-filling of a different type of cake that I can only assume was regular cheesecake (the outside being of course chocolate cheesecake, though it only tasted like chocolate). So the intended flavor was not there, nor was the theme not present, either. It all tasted the same, and it wasn't very exciting. The store itself is cute, though the price is on the higher end. The question stands: Is it worth the price? Maybe. 4/7
And that's it! Tune in next time, as crawls may be a regular occurrence, especially with new treats! I'm pretty sure I've been to at least 75% of the cupcakeries in Chicago, and as I go on, I'm pretty sure I hit the best ones by now. Still, go big or go home, right?
Catch you on the flip side.
 |
| This the population of Andersonville |
Only l'Alaska and I had a cupcake. The others were unimpressed. It seems that this bakery did not specialize in cupcakes, or even have many cupcakes, even though I've seen this place in many cupcake lists. I don't have pictures because they're on La Photographe's camera.
l'Alaska chose the yellow cupcake: "Just your average cupcake. Seems like I could get the same thing at a grocery store. I don't really want to write more about this." 3/7
I chose the chocolate cupcake. It was fudge with vanilla icing. Here's my summary of the cupcake: "Fuck. This. Shit." This is a busy bakery that has a air conditioning problem where everything else looks better than the cupcakes. Even the old dude in the back was more appetizing. The cake was decently moist, but much too sweet. The icing was like eating sugar. Sticky, messy sugar. For $1.14, it's a good price, but at what cost? A traditional (too traditional) cupcake, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but in this case, it is. 2/7
From there, we took the 22, said goodbye to l'Indienne Blanc and l'Alaska, and went onward to Uptown, in the neighborhood of Sheridan Park, to a hard-to-find place known as...
The Cupcake Gallery (1319 W Wilson)On a minor side street, with very little in the way of a storefront, one may miss this cupcakerie. But that doesn't make it bad, does it? Let's go to the facts.
La photographe had a Peach Cobbler Cupcake. I think I deleted this photo accidentally. But it looks just like mine, so don't fret. She says thus: "$2.78 (tax incl.) is on the higher range of cupcake prices for an average sized offering. Cashier was cute in an unkempt sort of way but the backroom looked distressingly similar to a college kitchen with random assortments of objects in plastic tubs. No beverages, not even water seemed to be for sale, which is a big no-no for the consumption of sweets.
Cupcake itself has decent peach aroma but the frosting (an unidentifiable version) had a distrubingly oil consistency to it while being cloyingly sweet. Avoid. Cake portion had a nice texture, but it was a nice texture for a light muffin, not a cake - maybe a carrot cake. Was lightly flavored to the point of being devoid of peach flavor. Also, where was the cobbler aspect? Theme fail.
And the small LG A/C unit was definitely not up to the task of cooling the spacious cafe. Points for furnishing - chairs, cushions, cafe tables - minus points for how noticeably dirty they were. Also, cashier put the cupcake on the bare counter before shifting to a paper towel. WTF. Finally, 4 cupcakes (only 3 of which were available) does NOT a gallery make."2/7
First of all, I'm pretty sure this place is a cover. There's furniture you would find in a Persian restaurant: white leather couch, cafe chairs, striped pillows next to wall, mismatched items. This place is in the middle of nowhere, with a bare storefront and a bland banner on front. The staff is inattentive (you'd think it was closed), if there is any staff to speak of. Plus, there were only 4 types of cupcakes, and three available (besides about 5 of each type).
Here's the thing - this was a better orange creamsicle cupcake than A Taste of Heaven. It actually tasted like an orange creamsicle. The icing was pretty good (I didn't think it was that oily), though it was gooey. the cake was light and moist, but the price was a little much for the size. Still, a good effort. The cupcake gets a 4/7, for being good but not good enough.
And off we went to Southport Grocery
...20 min later...she's still upset over greasy residue
But it was closed. So we moved on.
On the way, we stopped off at the Starbucks at 3359 N Southport. La photographe had three reasons for the supreme yuppiness of this Starbucks:
- No key to the bathroom (don't have to have to ask cashier)
- Sanitary papers/toilet covers (I guess the 60% of the population that have to sit down more often notice this)
- Illustrated instructions for washing your hands, including:
- telling people to wash with soap for 20 seconds, the international standard for proper hand washing technique
- telling people to shut water off with the paper towel you used to dry your hand, to prevent further germ spread.
Onwards, we made it to Old Town, for The Twisted Baker, aka...
Twisted Sister Bakery (1543 N Wells)
There are some niceties about this establishment. It featured dogs of many varieties, some in bicycle baskets. It was kinda indie, kinda kitsch, but very cute.
La photographe enjoyed the vintage light covers, doggie biscuits, vintage ceiling pates on wall, dark wood and eclectic furniture, late hours, the layout, and location. But the clientele seem to be a bit rude. Yeah, that makes sense. There even was a fireplace! Also, the bathroom was FANTASTIC. It was classy as classy could get. Speaking of classy, they also used Mint Julep cups to hold the various accouterments involved with coffee (cream, sugar, etc)
As to the cupcake, she got a key lime.
She enjoyed that the icing was applied to order and dutifully placed. $2.75 ($3.05 with tax) was on the pricer end but she felt it was worth it for great ambience and location.
The icing was too sweet but immensely lime-flavored. Cake was substantial but still loose. There was a small amount of custard filling that was pleasingly cold and thick. Was tart but you are overpowered by the avalanche of overly sweet lime icing. Fluffier lime topping and more custard filling would be a better ratio. STill, this was a strong contender. 5/7
This was the opposite to the cupcake at Flourish. It was not very well structured at all. The cupcake was gooey and fell apart upon handling. I didn't like how they kept the cupcake in a tupperware in the back. The icing was a viscous blob. It was massive. I don't mean big, I mean it had a lot of mass. The inertia contained in the icing was huge. It acted as a single unit with a mind of its own, eventually expanding across the plate. You know in horror movies where the blob just starts absorbing everything around it, getting ever bigger? Yeah, it was like that. It was also too sweet. Sugar goo, that's what they should call this. The cake itself was good. But it didn't have much in the way of cheesecake. It had a semi-filling of a different type of cake that I can only assume was regular cheesecake (the outside being of course chocolate cheesecake, though it only tasted like chocolate). So the intended flavor was not there, nor was the theme not present, either. It all tasted the same, and it wasn't very exciting. The store itself is cute, though the price is on the higher end. The question stands: Is it worth the price? Maybe. 4/7
And that's it! Tune in next time, as crawls may be a regular occurrence, especially with new treats! I'm pretty sure I've been to at least 75% of the cupcakeries in Chicago, and as I go on, I'm pretty sure I hit the best ones by now. Still, go big or go home, right?
Catch you on the flip side.
2 comments:
Ugh, I hate top-heavy cupcakes. You should compile a list of the five overall best cupcakeries in Chicago
You'll just have to wait for Top Ten Tuesdays, buddy
Post a Comment